This contest is over. The award belongs to Levi Johnston. Poor zitty teenager porks the Governor’s daughter, finds himself railroaded into a shotgun wedding, and ends up on national teevee shaking hands with a candidate for president. All this with his gun-toting bible-thumping future in-laws looking on. My hero!

If only fetuses could talk! What would Bristol’s tummy sound like?

I must have missed another Memo. When did the ‘Pubs become the party of illegitimate out-of-wedlock births? Was it so long ago that Dan Quayle campaigned against Murphy Brown, calling her a poor role model and a liberal symbol of the nation’s moral depravity?

What happened to all the white ‘Pubs (is that redundant?), chilled gin in hand at the country club bar, pursing their lips and sucking their teeth while lamenting the conduct of lusty Negroes causing bastard births in their communities? “Those hopeless savages,” they said. “No wonder they’re all on welfare.”

Yeah, Biff. And crack. Don’t forget the crack. Turns ‘em into maniac sex machines prone to Communism and Muslimhood.

“Dear Sarah: Thank God for you and your chromosomes! Now that there’s a woman on the ticket, we’re voting Republican!” – Hillary’s 18 million glass ceiling cracks.

Amazing. After belittling ElBama as a shallow “superstar” with no message or real-world experience, the ‘Pubs dig up a Creationist with two years’ experience governing the most atypical, Federal-money saturated population in the USA who delivers a speechwriter’s words with enough theatrical flourish to animate their entire base.

They go nuts over the Dem candidate’s loose 20-year old connection to a lefty radical, but pay no heed to their VP’s husband’s current association with a treasonous political movement to renounce the US government and secede from the union.

(We’ll save the religion issues for another rant.)

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not putting Gov Soccermom down: she’s practically irrelevant. I’m marveling over the way ideologues can swallow almost anything their spokesmen spew, no matter how hypocritical, inconsistent, and gullible it makes them look. How what they see and believe depends so little on what’s right in front of their noses. How, like Winston Smith, when sufficiently browbeaten, they actually embrace 2 + 2 = 5. What a lifetime of Kool-Aid consumption can do.

Not just her. Not just the ‘Pubs. All True Believers and Faithful Followers.

It all depends whose ox is gored. No relation to Al.

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