Wearing pants in public could land a famed Sudanese journalist 40 lashes for violating public morality, Al Arabiya TV said Tuesday, prompting the journalist to send out 500 invitations to her possible flogging in a bid to expose human rights violations.

On July 3 she was arrested with several other girls at a celebration hall that had 300-400 guests. “Two cops came in and asked all girls who wear pants to follow them to the police station,” Hussein, who wears the hijab, head scarf, told Al Arabiya TV.

They took Hussein and another 12 girls… and 10 of them were instantaneously lashed 10 lashes at the police station.  The remaining girls, al-Hussein and another two, were referred to the court, but the trial date has not been set yet.

As for sending out invitations to her flogging in case she is found guilty, Hussein explained that no one will believe that such verdict could be passed because of normal clothes. — Al Arabiya

Stupid cops.  The girls they scoop up and carry off to the station are the ones wearing pants, not the ones who AREN’T wearing pants.  Idiots. Anyway….

Leaving aside the issue of the alleged crime committed, this all makes perfect sense.  I’m 100% in favor of restoring corporate punishment, particularly flogging, and I agree that it should be done in public.  The invitations are a sound crowd-control device, because face it — the spectacle of a public flogging anywhere in the United States would draw thousands of fans.

We’d have to introduce this gradually, because all sorts of humanitarian protests will be heard.  Start with no-brainer crimes, like spouse abuse, armed assault, incestuous rape, for example.  Convicted criminals could have public flogging added to their sentences, perhaps 4 dozen strokes administered by a trained knouter in a public courtyard, or on an outdoor stage, with limited attendance.

Eventually, in the beta stage, as the idea catches on, the punishment could move to larger venues.  Spectators would purchase tickets — group rates, of course, for qualifying families and seniors – and sponsors could be recruited.  What beer wouldn’t want to be associated with such entertainment?  Or airline?  Or financial institution?  Why wouldn’t the new, leaner, meaner General Motors want to be branded with a branding iron, cat o’ 9 tails, and wicker cane?   Don’t you already think “punishment” and “torture” when you visualize your father’s Oldsmobile?

Educational films would be developed for schools, and special day-time sessions could be arranged for school children.  Talk about your family values workshops!  A fine 10 minute bloody flogging trumps a whole semester of boring, threatening speeches, even from  Sister Ground-and-Pound herself!

YouTube!  Tee shirts!  Interviews on daytime teevee with your favorite torturer/executioners!  Think of the money local governments could make, as well as promoters and private sector investors!  It’s the American dream!

Just one condition: no deal unless women who apply eye makeup using the rear-view mirror while crawling down the left lane of interstates earn themselves a mandatory half dozen across their bare breasts.  Okay?  Who’s with me?