Holy shit.

The Pachuca family says an image on their pickup truck is a miracle. The image, that came in an unlikely form of a bird dropping, appeared Sunday July 12. That was the first time Salvador Pachuca had been back to the home since having an accident there four months ago.

The Pachuca’s say the image is more than a coincidence especially since it happened on the 12^th…..December 12^th celebrated [in Mexico] as the day of The Virgin Guadalupe. Onlookers say the image is a miracle because the distinct colors and outline of the image on the truck match the image of Virgin Guadalupe.

The Pachuca’s say they will continue to welcome anyone who wants to see the image, because the image isn’t going to go away anytime soon.  “I think we’re going to just put it on a shelf outside, probably take off the mirror and keep it there cause its something special to us. I’m not going to wash it off,” says Cristal Pachuca.   — kbtx.com

Wow. Pebbles from heaven.  And that numerology magic is up there with the best of Louis Farrakhan’s teachings.

I guess if Monica Lewinsky can save her cum-stained blue dress, the Paluchas can preserve their beshitted rear-view mirror.  There’s sure to be a market for it, and people gotta make a living.

Besides, what’s more American than making a fast buck selling religion to rubes?

Next time you shake your head in disgusted disbelief as you contemplate young Muslim men committing suicide in return for a heavenly reward of 77 virgins, remember that they figured getting laid was part of the deal.  In my copy of the Kelley Blue Book, that tops the value of a Chevy truck with a spot of bird shit on the mirror.  Of course, I wasn’t raised in Texas, beaten by nuns, or fondled by priests.

On a positive note, let’s applaud sensitive folks whose perspective allows for aesthetic appreciation wherever they find it.  Set aside the idiotic religious aspects of this bird shit.  Isn’t it impressive that they could see it as an art object, with color, shape, and deeper meaning?  Who needs Jackson Pollock when you have bird shit on your truck?

Finally, let’s thank the Pachuca family for lowering the bar another few degrees in the continuing saga of deluded hinds claiming religious significance for ordinary household objects.  The grilled cheese sandwich has been retired.  Praise the bird shit, and pass the plate.  Amen.