A Southland elementary school teacher was arrested after 40 photos depicting blindfolded and gagged children were given to authorities by a film processor.

The LA Times reports 61-year-old Mark Berndt allegedly gagged and made bondage photos of nearly two-dozen children – possibly inside a classroom. In some cases, the children are shown with large Madagascar cockroaches crawling on them at the Miramonte Elementary School.

CBS Los Angeles reports some of the photos allegedly depict Berndt holding a substance that resembles human semen up to the mouths of female students as if they were about to swallow it.

Berndt worked for more than 30 years at Miramonte Elementary School in an unincorporated area of south Los Angeles. He was fired last year, according to LAUSD Superintendent John Deasy, although no student ever came forward to report the abuse.  –CBS News

Wow — it’s only January, but I think we have our Teacher of the Year.  A matching bookend to Coach of the Year Jerry Sandusky.

Rush Limbaugh told his fellow Republicans to buck up and quit whining about negative campaigning.  And not just them. “I’m getting tired hearing about it from everyone,” Limbaugh said on his radio show. “What in the world is politics? What is it, if not this?”  — Newser

You go, girl.  Because this is not only exactly right, it’s the very essence of American politics.  Insults, lies, misrepresentations of opponents’ positions, character assassination, low blows, dirty tricks, even the occasional fist fight.  OMG, do we need more fist fights!

We need more, not less, because these bozoic antics more truthfully reveal the character of the candidates and the nature of their business.  They are egotistical, sanctimonious, power-hungry, and greedy.  They are neither exemplary citizens nor role models; on the contrary, they are shining example of what we don’t want our children to aspire to.

Watching them trash one another is like seeing a major league competition, where gigantic (read:  obscene) sums of money put up by enterprising captains of the free market are deployed for the sake of empowering a prostitute who will return the favor in bankable multiples.  We need to hear this again and again and again because we tend to forget, and actually disbelieve the lies they tell about one another.  Yes, Romney is a spineless flip-flopper without a single moral or political principle other than his Mormon faith.  Yes, Gingrich is an intellectually undisciplined, lying philanderer with no sense of decency, diplomacy, or humility.  Say it loud.  They’re pus and they’re proud.

Don’t be fooled by talk about “the dignity of the office.”  They achieved their office by out-spending their competition, selling out to the highest bidder, and lying louder.  Once elected, their number one priority is to stay in office long enough to ensure their grip on power over you and me, and a rich reward for themselves and the puppeteers who got them there.  Power is what unwrinkles the men and makes the women wet.  What –you though it was the opportunity to perform public service?

Rushbo is right-o: we need to hear this over and over again, loud and clear.  The proper response to negative campaigning is more negative campaigning.  Tune it out at your own risk: they count on your inattention and forgiveness.   Throw eggs and fart proudly at rallies.  This is America, this is democracy. This is who we are.

Michael Clair, a 53-year-old former dentist in Massachusetts, pleaded guilty Friday to a slew of charges including accusations that he used paper clips instead of stainless steel during dental procedures…..instead of the stainless steel posts that are normally used in root canal operations, Clair used sections of paper clips — which can put patients at risk of infection and tremendous pain — in an effort to save money.

[H]is other charges include assault and battery, larceny, tampering with evidence, and illegally prescribing prescription medication— Hydrocodone, Combunox, and Percocet — to other staff members.

Clair….was suspended by Medicaid in 2002, but continued to file claims – $130,000 worth – through June 2005 by using the names of other dentists in his practice, according to prosecutors. Inquisitr.com

Dentists are scary enough when they’re not trying to inflict damage.  They’re people who lost their first choice of careers when the Inquisition ended.  Their tools and techniques would fit comfortably into any Lord High Executioner’s playbook and training room. Hopefully, this guy is the only one who bought his medical supplies at Staples.

What is it about professionals — often highly educated, professionally trained, credentialed and certified — that so many lose their focus and embrace the dark side, stumbling downward on slimy stiles into a hell of their own construction?  The physicians caught in the pain clinic scam.  The Medicaid/Medicare scammers. Investment counselors turned Ponzi schemers.  Psychologists of any stripe and kidney, who are the equivalent of gypsy fortune tellers.

When it comes to doctors and dentists, it seems like Florida has more than its share.  I’m not even including the guys in Miami who practice out of the trunks of their cars.  But it runs the gamut.  Drywall patched with toothpaste.  Baking soda to stop radiator leaks.  Windex for skin cancer lesions.  Fix-A-Flat injected in buttockses (or whatever the plural is).

The last word belongs to one of my literary and spiritual muses, Ambrose Bierce, author of The Devils’ Dictionary, who defined Dentist as “ A prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coins out of your pocket.”

Note “metal.”  As in, paper clips?  Bierce would have simply shaken his head.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

January 27, 1756 – September 5, 1791

I love exposed hypocrisy, and the more sanctimonious the hypocrite, the funnier it is.  Which brings us to the Newt and his omnipresent puss here in Florid-duh where the ‘Pub primary concludes next Tuesday.

The so-called ‘Pub establishment has sounded the alarm.  Make that, “pressed the panic button.”  Among the high and mighty who have trashed him highly and mightily are Elliot Abrams (National Review), Man Coulter, Mathilde Drudge, and Tom DeLay.  Here’s a tidy little summary.  Here’s Lefty Bob Dole.  There’s plenty more all over the place.

They’re truly worried, and it’s richly rewarding, because they stood silently by for the last 4 years as their own party operatives kept lowering the bar, cheapening the dialog, dumbing down the arguments, and debasing the debate.  They handed the reins over to the Evangelicals and Teabaggers who drove the party apparatus so far off the trail they can’t find their way back.  The Kenyan Muslim Socialist wants to ban Christmas, take away your guns, declare Sharia Law, raise your taxes, and pee in the punch bowl, while the elite liberal Jewish media protect him by refusing to expose his evil deeds — and holy shit, did you notice that he’s Black?

Where was the collective STFU from Abrams/Coulter/Dole/Drudge/Delay?  Not until Newty made typically ignorant, off-the-mark generalizations about Mittens and Bain Capital, actually criticizing the holy free market, do they finally climb on their hind legs to denounce what they themselves, through their tacit approval, hath wrought.

Great stuff.  It worked so well for a while — look at the 2010 elections!  But now it’s all out of hand and they’re scrambling for cover.  Like warty witches boiling foul weeds and stinking carrion in an iron pot, their spell reversed their own fortune — they turned something shiny into a lowly Newt.  Now they’re in un-do mode.

This is just wonderful to behold, and so close to home it’s downright delicious.

My predictions are almost always wrong, but I make them anyway:

• Mittens will prevail in Florida, but Newty will show a strong second, and he’ll keep on rolling.
• Santorum will drop out and back Mittens — yes, there’s a good deal in it for him — while Ryan, with nothing to lose, keeps on truckin’.
• Newty might actually take another contest or two, like Arizona, but he’s on his way out…..and watching him crash and burn will be more spiritually rewarding than seeing Jesus Tebow and the Denver Broncos lose.

Oh, and the Giants will beat the Patriots again.  But more on that later.

[phtoto credit]

With the Republican candidates courting Cubans in Miami today, Fidel Castro chimed in with an opinion piece in state-run media saying he was unimpressed, at the very least, with the field.

“The selection of a Republican candidate for the presidency of this globalized and expansive empire is — and I mean this seriously — the greatest competition of idiocy and ignorance that has ever been,” the retired Cuban leader wrote. — NYTimes

Binky is the 6th cat in the household.  You probably think he’s very cute, but the other 5 are non-committal.  Even the two 3-year-olds find him ‘way too energetic and playful.  Guido and I keep him entertained with string, rolled-up paper, little kitten toys, and surgery. So far, so good.  Some breakage and spills, but nothing flammable or irreplaceable.

The other day I found myself at a booth in a Hollywood Chinese restaurant where the sign on the right was displayed.

My lunch companion, who like most of the world is a more observant creature than I am, pointed out that it was upside down: the smoke should be rising.

A quick survey of the dining room revealed that every similar sign was also upside-down, and we discussed whether or not this was a positive or negative commentary on the installer(s).  I lean toward the positive: he or she got it wrong, but paid sufficient attention to get it consistent.

My companion asked me whether or not I would continue patronizing this restaurant if whenever I did, and ordered the same meal,  it came out wrong.  We discussed this, too.

Finally, on the left is a photo of the front window of Jimmy John’s, a restaurant in Pembroke Pines.  I had lunch there once — not really my style or taste, but not bad for a sandwich shop.

Please note that the window has the words FREE SMELLS in red neon.  For several months I puzzled over who (or what) SMELLS is and why he has been incarcerated, inspiring this neon plea for his release.  Then one day I figured it out.  All by myself!

What makes it rather odd that I got confused by this is that years ago, when synagogues around the nation sported FREE SOVIET JEWS banners in response to some international crisis or campaign the details of which I don’t remember, I recall thinking to myself, “I wonder how many they’re giving out.”  Which suggests my confusion reflex or instinct works inconsistently.

Perhaps that’s why I find the wrong but consistent signage in the Chinese reataurant admirable on some level.

I give BHO a lot of credit: I wasn’t sick and tired of listening to his bullshit until a year into his administration.  Usually I find a president’s speeches an intolerable assault on reason and common sense about 6 months into his candidacy, so Obama scores very high in my sports book.

But that was then.  This is now.  And speaking of now, I wrote this before the speech.

This being an election year, the annual SOTU speech is little more than another campaign presentation.  The usual platitudes about staying the course, sticking with the program, giving the current leadership more time to continue its brilliant stewardship.  How we’re so much better off after 3 years of US compared to 8 years of THEM.  How so many promises have been kept, so much work remains, and if only we had more cooperation from those who would bring us down, how much more we would be enjoying.

Few will hang around long enough to hear the ‘Pub’s rebuttal, handled this year by Gov. Mitch Daniels of Indiana.  The Governor has been labeled a “fiscal policy whiz,” and even now, with Mittens and Gingrinch hissing at and slapping one another, there are pleas for him to reconsider his decision not to seek the nomination.  Run Mitch Run!  What is never brought up, it seems, is that Daniels was Monkey Boy’s budget director from 2000- 2003, and that during his tenure the projected federal budget surplus of $236 billion became a $400 billion deficit.  (The fiscal policy whiz insists it wasn’t his fault — back then all the cool kids were still blaming Clinton for everything.)

Well, it wasn’t his fault.  Or Clinton’s.  As we’ve learned, the whole system had been corrupted by any number of powerful interests, crashing the house of cards to create  a gigantic crisis that would have required brilliance, patience, foresight, and cooperation to remedy.  Monkey Boy and his zoo were neither qualified nor motivated to effect repairs, and after 8 years they left it worse than it started.  Lest we forget, this is the situation that BHO inherited.

Have he and his legions done enough to straighten us out?  Nah.  So do we toss his ass out and replace his best and brightest with Mittens and the buttoned-down experts of his choice?   That’s what the election will determine.

But until then, all the cloying bluster is but a seedy dog and pony show to distract us from our troubles.  I refuse to pay attention. There’s beer to drink and porn to watch, and no time to waste on foolish pursuits.