Monthly Archives: March 2008

Zelling Out

Posted on March 31, 2008 by squathole

Guido slides hard into bed last night, spikes high. “Baseball season starts tomorrow,” she says. “Do you care?” Well, yeah, I do. I love baseball. I despise what has happened to the Marlins. Ownership of that team has no business … Continue reading →

Posted in Playing With Balls | 5 Comments

Shit Happens

Posted on March 31, 2008 by squathole

“Life is what happens when you’re making other plans.” Yeah yeah, cliche city. Anyway, I had all this good stuff planned, but now I can’t get to it…..so indulge me while I borrow a post from another blog, exactly one … Continue reading →

Posted in Golden Oldies (Deja Vu All Over Again) | 1 Comment

Who Farted?

Posted on March 29, 2008 by squathole

“He’s a class guy, and class gets rewarded.” —Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria, on Jeff “Mr. Marlin” Conine Miami Hurled No argument, just the unsettling observation that praise from as odious a source as this one could be construed as an … Continue reading →

Posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment | 2 Comments

Touche

Posted on March 28, 2008 by squathole

Nice moment from the Supreme Court: The standard for competence to stand trial, formulated in a 1960 Supreme Court decision, Dusky v. United States, is fairly basic. It requires that a defendant have “sufficient present ability to consult with lawyer … Continue reading →

Posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment | 6 Comments

Heavy

Posted on March 28, 2008 by squathole

Hadn’t heard much from my gambler friend Duck Diamonds since he abruptly took a leave of absence — that’s industry lingo for fducking a hostile “client/investor” — but he sent me a post card from wherever he is with the … Continue reading →

Posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment | 6 Comments

Dude Deals Duds

Posted on March 27, 2008 by squathole

[T]o arm the Afghan forces that it hopes will lead this fight, the American military has relied since early last year on a fledgling company led by a 22-year-old man whose vice president was a licensed masseur. With the award … Continue reading →

Posted in News From the Nation's Dicktip | 5 Comments

Bring Out Your Dead and Run for Congress

Posted on March 27, 2008 by squathole

Turns out there’s more to this Kevorkian candidacy than originally reported. My source is my doctor – well, not MY doctor, really: it’s the veterinarian to whom Guido and I have been taking our animals for some years. Jack Kevorkian, … Continue reading →

Posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment | 4 Comments

Talk About “Breaking News”…..

Posted on March 26, 2008 by squathole

…..can you imagine the birth process here? An Oregon transgendered man who used to be a woman says he is five-months pregnant. Thomas Beatie, who’s expecting a girl, tells his story in a first-person account published in ‘The Advocate’ magazine. … Continue reading →

Posted in NIMBY | 1 Comment

P.U. in PA

Posted on March 26, 2008 by squathole

“I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.” — Will Rogers Funny guy, that Will, but his mama dressed him funnier. Up in Pennsyltucky, the Keystone State, they’re registering voters for the primary as … Continue reading →

Posted in NIMBY | 7 Comments

Urban Legends Come to Life

Posted on March 25, 2008 by squathole

Minneapolis, MN — The family of a 6-year-old girl whose intestines were partially sucked out by a Minnesota swimming pool drain last year says the child has died.[The girl] was injured on June 29 when she sat on a pool … Continue reading →

Posted in NIMBY | 4 Comments