Blow Up The Candles

coffins400x496.jpgGuess who’s 5 years old today?

That’s right — the War in Iraq! Aaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwww.

I catch up with the little fellow early in the day. His special day.

“I’m so happy,” he chirps. “Five whole years! And in just 45 more days it’s my 5 year anniversary of President Monkey Boy’s ‘Mission Accomplished’ speech! But everybody agrees I’m still going strong!”

With no end in sight.

“Hee hee! True! Uncle Johnny Mac says I could go for another 100 years when he wins the White House! Can you believe it?”

Ummm. Yeah.

“Time goes so fast. We’re up to 3,990 American military deaths, and almost 30,000 wounded. And that’s just American boys and girls! Toss in the Iraqi civilian casualties, and you’re up over a million!”

No wonder when you started back in 2003, American soldiers were greeted by parades of happy, liberated Iraqis throwing flowers.

“I was sooooo young! But then, President Chimp knew even back then how romantic his baby war would become.”

Well worth the money, as well as the lives. Not to mention the lofty status America achieved in the eyes of the rest of the world.

Half a trillion and counting. Cheap at half the price. I’m so….proud, you know?”

Yes, I know. And today, on your 5th birthday, we’re proud too. Tearful with joy. Positively weeping.

This entry was posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Blow Up The Candles

  1. Ms Calabaza says:

    Damn,
    that picture is heartbreaking.

  2. Private Parts says:

    About that photo: Don’t ever forget that in the first few years of the war, photos of coffins coming home were prohibited.

    Happy Birthday, War. You bitch from hell.

  3. Superbee says:

    I’ve flown in those planes. Creepy.

  4. Superbee says:

    Also creepy is how long it took me to figure out who dis blog belongs to.

    But now I put seven and twelventeen together. Welcome back!!

  5. squathole says:

    Pleasure to have you back, ‘Bee. And tell your friends about our show!

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