Tired of wasting time on the state’s imploding economy, your elected officials in Tallahassee turn their attention to womens’ bodies:
Any woman seeking to terminate a pregnancy would be required to pay for an ultrasound procedure — and view the results unless she signed a waiver — before having the abortion, under a bill passed by the House largely along party lines.
Women whose pregnancies were the result of rape, incest, domestic violence or human trafficking would be exempt from the ultrasound requirement. — SFSS
These candy-ass ‘Pubs always back down at the last minute, don’t they? They have the votes to force distraught women confronting the destruction of human life within them to stare at themselves in a mirror, so do they press their advantage? Nooooooooooooo. They cave in and make exceptions for victims of rape, violence, and incest.
Like that makes a difference to the fetus, right? Like god gives a divine shit how this immortal soul was conceived. What’s rape or incest got to do with it? A life’s a life, dammit, just like a gun’s a gun.
“I’m pretty dang upset, I’ll tell you that,” declares the Rev. Trog LoDyte, an anti-abortion activist from Stegosaurus County. “This-here law has the power to keep women right the hell out of the abortion clinic forever. If it don’t scare them into avoiding sin, it makes it too dawgawn expensive. Either way, it saves their souls, right, and ain’t that all what us Christians gotta do, even if it ruins their lives and maybe even makes ’em kill themselves? Ain’t that god’s will they’re messin’ with?”
Senate Dems are toying with a companion bill to force candidates for elective hemorrhoid surgery to view ultrasound images of their own assholes before undergoing procedures. “I bet most of the clods who voted for the other bill won’t like this one,” chuckled one official. “Half couldn’t tell their own assholes from their elbows. Or their own wedding photos!”
Requesting anonymity, a veteran staff member of one of the bill’s sponsors noted that election year politics was behind the move. “Face it — we screwed up the property tax bill, the state’s economy is in shambles, our schools are a national laughingstock, and for the first time in 50 years, more people are leaving the state than coming and staying here. This bill is a distraction, something to please the holy hinds in their hovels. Besides, it’s fun to pick on girls and fetuses. Or maybe it’s ‘fetii?’ Is that a word?”