Monthly Archives: April 2008

Friday Shorts

I wonder if she got a grant from the NEA for this art project…. In an article on Thursday in The Yale Daily News…. student Aliza Shvarts was quoted as saying she had inseminated herself “as often as possible” while … Continue reading

Posted in News From the Nation's Dicktip, NIMBY | 8 Comments

Penis Snatchers!!

Thanks to the irrepressible Ms Calabazza for this alert……. KINSHASA (Reuters) – Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men’s penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered … Continue reading

Posted in Shaken and Stirred | 5 Comments

Lawn Order

My incompetence with tools is breathtaking. In high school, I actually had a carpenter yank a hammer from my hands and explain to me how to use one properly. “I taught Special Ed to retards for 5 years!” he screams … Continue reading

Posted in Shaken and Stirred | 5 Comments

Health Tip. Uh-huh-uh. I Said “Tip.”

Great news, guys! Especially if you’re broke, ugly, or married to a menopausal woman! Australian researchers have come to the conclusion that men could reduce their risk of developing prostate cancer through regular masturbation….They say cancer-causing chemicals could build up … Continue reading

Posted in Playing With Balls, Shaken and Stirred | 6 Comments

Thanks, Soldier. Keep Your Sidearm Handy.

Evidently terrorists aren’t following American soldiers home, demons are. Kerri J. Childress, a Department [of Veteran Affairs] spokeswoman, said Monday that there were an average of 18 suicides a day among America’s 25 million veterans and that more than a … Continue reading

Posted in People Who Died, Died | 11 Comments

….and Speaking of Birds, Please Pass the Fowl Balls

SIOUX FALLS, SD – The Sioux Falls Canaries and Dakota Provisions are teaming up to this summer to bring Fowl Balls to concession stands at the Birdcage. The venture makes Sioux Falls Stadium the first sports venue in the country … Continue reading

Posted in NIMBY | 12 Comments

FPL Initiates Our BOHICA Moment

Standing in the shower on Sunday morning and the lights go off, immediately followed by a distant explosion. That activates the moron dog’s howling coyote mode, which inspires the other two dogs we’re babysitting this weekend to compete. Way to … Continue reading

Posted in News From the Nation's Dicktip | 4 Comments