Monthly Archives: May 2008

You’re Out in Space and the Shit Hits the Fan

Or maybe, stops hitting the fan. Pretty technically advanced for me. Four words you don’t want to hear in space:“The toilet is broken.” The crew aboard the International Space Station is working on a problem with the system for collecting … Continue reading

Posted in NIMBY | 7 Comments

Just Give Me Gas

Nobody is surprised to hear that my first encounter with a Pay At The Pump system went badly, to the point of a furious attendant tearing my credit card out of my hands and telling me never to come back. … Continue reading

Posted in Shaken and Stirred | 6 Comments

Summer Schedule Is On

Translated: posts here about twice a week, Tuesdays and Thursdays. Please feel free to carry on with the wit and abuse unimpeded. Me, I’ll be commenting elsewhere the entire time.

Posted in Shaken and Stirred | 3 Comments

Vice is Nice

It wouldn’t be a Memorial Day weekend without a visit to the Liquor and Rubber Balls Sports Bar (LRB’s), where Don Tequila stoically presides the entire 3 days. Once I ask him if he if he owns the place. Many … Continue reading

Posted in The Adventures of Don Tequila | 13 Comments

Get Your Motor Runnin’

Edward Smith, who lives with his current “girlfriend” – a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla, insisted that he was not “sick” and had no desire to change his ways. Mr Smith, 57, first had sex with a car at the … Continue reading

Posted in Playing With Balls | 15 Comments

While Galileo Wept

A Swiss man died when he fell from a hotel balcony during a spitting match with a friend, a Swiss newspaper has reported. The Daily Blick said the 29-year-old man took a run-up from inside the room so he could … Continue reading

Posted in People Who Died, Died | 3 Comments

Stop the Presses, Hold Your Ears

Look at this. Rat bastard, Mr Entertainment & the Pookiesmackers, and Kenny Millions. And more. Tonight.

Posted in News From the Nation's Dicktip | Leave a comment

You Can Hump But You Can’t Hide

….not with heat-seeking technology on your tail trail. Harrisburg, PA – A pilot’s nighttime romp in the woods with a flight attendant has ended with both suspended and under arrest, police said. Jeffrey Paul Bradford, 24, and Adrianna Grace Connor, … Continue reading

Posted in Playing With Balls | 8 Comments

Jet Loo

This story has been sitting around (bad expression) for a week or so, but I didn’t see anybody else down here pick it up, so here goes…. A Manhattan man is feeling flush with anger after he says he was … Continue reading

Posted in NIMBY | 4 Comments

Head Lines

Doctors say Sen Edward Kennedy has a brain tumor — Related stories: Very unusual condition for a United States senator. Close associates doubtful. “Could never happen,” states one. Former President Reagan expresses regret, confusion. Kennedy aides, citing irrelevance of … Continue reading

Posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment | 6 Comments