Happy Cinco de Mayo!!

Look. Everybody with a pair of brain cells to rub together knows that Cinco de Mayo isn’t a real important historical date. It marks yet another French defeat, this time by Mexico. Like that’s something unusual, right?

But for stumble-down sophisticates like moi, it’s a historical excuse to drain entire bottles of tequila. So don’t expect a whole of activity on this blog tomorrow, because I’ll be recovering from today all day.

Speaking of drunken degenerates, keep an eye out for quotes from Boris Johnson, the improbable new mayor of London. Labor took a huge hit in England, evidently an expression of disgust with former Prime Minister Blair and the way the whole country has deteriorated by its lapdog mentality vis-a-vis President Monkey Boy and American ass-licking. The French are going through a similar self-examination.

Here’s a snippet from yesterday’s paper that hold promise for similar inspired snark:

In his colorful career, the new London mayor has survived public airing of an extramarital affair whose existence he originally denied as an “inverted pyramid of piffle”; has apologized to whole cities, like Liverpool, that he offended in one way or another; and has been prone to saying things like: “Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3.” NYTimes

Hmmm. Keep the BMW. I’ll take the big tits. Vote Tory!

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5 Responses to Happy Cinco de Mayo!!

  1. Tony Montana says:

    First you get the BMW, then you get the big tits, Manolo.

  2. Hose B says:

    Happy cinco de mayo, Squats! Any excuse to drink tequila is a holiday, not the other ‘way round.

  3. You May Call Me Pierre says:

    Aah, yes. Another excuse to drink tequila AND bash the French….what peasant could ask for more, yes?

    Perhaps one reason the “holiday” is so subdued in Mexico is because the setback suffered by the French was avenged a year later, when we returned to crush Mexico and install Ferdinand Maximilian as ruler.

    Laughing last on the side of history.

  4. I’m celebrating with Herradura x 8 oz + Dos Equis x 16 oz with a half shot Kahlua and calling it a Tlaloc Milkshake. After two of these someone is getting screwed fer sure. Happy 5 d Mayo mi hermano!

  5. FerfelaBat says:

    I’m going to love this new mayor.

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