You Can Tell It’s Mattel. Can’t you?

Nashville, TN – Concerns that realistic-looking toy weapons are confusing police and threatening safety have led 15 states to try going beyond gun control and cracking down on fake firearms….. Lawmakers across the country are…deciding that it is so hard to differentiate the toys from the fakes that public safety demands they take action.

Among those 15 states, seven bills limiting fake guns are pending this year and 21 have been enacted since 1990, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures. Some states have enacted or are considering multiple measures. They range from prohibiting imitation firearms in vehicles to banning the toys from convenience stores. — Associated Press

Speechless and outraged, I place a call to Bang Bang Lulu, my expert on all things firearmesque. The hell is this shit? Now these liberal cop-lovers want to ban toy guns? TOY guns?

“That’s about the size of it,” say Lulu, sadly. “They’re not happy just violating the US Constitution by restricting citizens’ 2nd Amendment rights to own firearms. Now they want to make plastic replicas illegal, too.”

Lulu, I just don’t get it. We’re talking about harmless toys. Toys!

“Hey, tell me about it. And this time it’s cops. They’re the ones pushing legislators to make ‘em illegal. You’d think law enforcement people would respect 2nd amendment rights. But it turns out they’re as bad as the limp-wristed faggot liberals.”

So they don’t have a problem with REAL guns out there. That’s fine with them. It’s the imitations, the toys that’s giving ‘em the problem.

“Yep. Can’t tell the difference. Cops got about 1.4 seconds to decide whether or not they need to use deadly force. Shoot or be shot. These toys are just too realistic, so they end up killing people who aren’t really armed, just fakin’ it.”

Well, that’s sad….but aren’t they asking for it?

“Not the point.  Hey, what part of ‘gun’ don’t you understand? Citizens have the right to own guns, period. The 2nd Amendment gives ‘em the right to have them, and now that right is endangered. The way we see it, the 2nd Amendment says citizens have the inalienable right to bear arms — real guns, toy guns, nail guns, paintball guns, Peter Gunn, don’t matter. That’s the law.”

You see any irony in the fact that states are willing to make harmless fake guns illegal, but don’t have a problem with citizens owning genuine automatic weapons?

“The irony I see is that the same people — people like you — who get bent out of shape when somebody burns a flag and says it’s free expression under the First Amendment don’t have a problem with cops and whole state legislatures who want to wipe their ass on the Second Amendment. That’s the irony.” He slams down the phone.

Bang Bang Lulu is one tough hombre. But I see his point. I was gonna turn in my water pistol next week, but now I see it’s my constitutional duty to keep it.

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5 Responses to You Can Tell It’s Mattel. Can’t you?

  1. Pistolier says:

    Your friend Lulu is gaga. This isn’t a second amendment issue. Period. Anybody who tries to conflate the two is being deliberately asinine.

  2. Riley says:

    Toy guns don’t kill people. Toy bullets kill people. Toy people.

  3. Mister E says:

    I think I get it. Cops don’t want people to have realistic toy guns because they (the cops) are afraid they (the people with toy guns) might killed by people (like cops) who think they (the toy gunned folks) are dangerous. Right?

    But having a real gun isn’t a problem because it’s okay to kill somebody with a real gun. Under certain circumstances.

    So maybe, to keep the Bang Bang Lulus of the world earthbound, what’s really needed is a concealed toy weapon law. Take it out at your own risk: getting shot or getting fined.

    Make sense?

  4. Pingback: paintball guns

  5. BRB COCKS says:

    lol, “Liberal cop lovers”
    So as a conservative, you hate police officers?

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