What a Drag It Is Getting Old

Guido and I have lived next door to two gay men for better than 20 years. They’re good friends and great neighbors, particularly when contrasted with Redneck and Cuntwife on the other side. That’s a tale for a another time.

Anyway, to celebrate one of the good guy’s birthday, the four of us went to Lips in Oakland Park on Sunday, a gay cabaret which features guys in drag serving Sunday brunch and lip-synching gospel spirituals in a high volume, high-energy stage and audience-particpation venue. It was…….different.

The place was packed. Lots of birthdays, too — apparently celebrating one’s birthday among performing drag queens has caught on as a fad.  Guido and I were among the very few (but not only) straight people in the audience. Evidently the gay community’s appetite for Jesus music, Bloody Mary’s, Mimosas, omelets, and drag queens is a force to be rectumed with.

The bouncer’s shirt, stretched to the breaking point across an awesome chest, has “LGBT” in 54 point pink lettering. “Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender?” I ask. (S)he gives me an affectionate smile. “Let Go my Butt, Twinkie,” (s)he replies.

I put my hands in my pockets. Before anybody else does.

The show is terrific. These guys look great, have all the moves, and could teach Milli Vanilli a thing or two about lip synch. They wisecrack (!) the crowd, giving and taking like Borscht Belt pros. A lost art revived.

The photo shows Deja in the center, one of the performers. Is (s)he gorgeous or what? (I don’t know who the other two are — if I could, at the very least I’d edit out the old yellow-toothed fuck — but it shows what a good time everybody had. ) Guido was so turned on by the experience I had to fight off her advances on the car’s stick shift until we got home. (Dissenting comment anticipated).

“The advantage of bisexuality is, you double your chances on Saturday night.” Who said that? And what about Sunday morning? What happens when the sun comes up, that make-up wears off, and the beard grows in? Guess that’s why the drinks are unlimited.

Happy birthday!

P.S.  I had doubts about the photo, and then “Esq” chimed in (comment below) and confirmed my worst doubts.  Not everybody would be happy about seeing him- or herself on teh internets posed with a drag queen.  So sorry, but I got up early and deleted it.  Thanks, Esq.

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9 Responses to What a Drag It Is Getting Old

  1. “The advantage of bisexuality is, you double your chances on Saturday night.”

    The disadvantage of bisexuality is that you double your chances of rejection on Saturday night or any other night.

  2. "Esq." A Lawyer says:

    If you’re not sure who the two others are in that photo, and they, unlike the person in the center, are NOT part of the show, you might not want to post it.

    Free legal advice is worth what you pay for it, but this is just common sense.

  3. squathole says:

    Esq: see PS, above. You’re right. That was very poor judgment on my part. Not everybody is blessed with the same freedom or openness, and I’m not in the “outing” or “gotcha” business. Because I’m too incompetent to edit the faces off the photo, I just deleted it. Thanks for the heads-up, Counselor.

  4. Fran G'Panni says:

    Sort of thing goes on here in KW about every night. What’s great is all the straight guys who come in because they’re just, um, “curious.”

    Manuel: Nothing ventured nothing gained! Sure doubling down is a gamble, but you got to play to win. Go for it!

  5. Mumblety Peg says:

    Men are such pigs.

  6. Dawgbowl says:

    I think you should re-post the photo. You never know when something like that can embarrass the hell out of somebody who deserves it.

  7. Piles says:

    The difference between what you did on Sunday morning and what I did every Sunday morning growing up Catholic is, your drag queens served alcohol when they sang. And were probably a lot prettier.

  8. Neil, a Christian Soul says:

    The Bible teaches that homosexuality is an abomination. Men dressed as women singing gospel music offends and insults Believers. You’re going to hell, but I pray for your neighbors’ redemption.

  9. Kent Standit says:

    Hmmm. I think I got it. Whoever you had in that photo was either one of “Esq’s” clients, or Esq himself. Only explanation for a lawyer’s generosity.

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