Edward Smith, who lives with his current “girlfriend” – a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla, insisted that he was not “sick” and had no desire to change his ways.
Mr Smith, 57, first had sex with a car at the age of 15, and claims he has never been attracted to women or men.
But his wandering eye has spread beyond cars to other vehicles. He says that his most intense sexual experience was “making love” to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf.
As well as Vanilla, he regularly spends time with his other vehicles – a 1973 Opal GT, named Cinnamon, and 1993 Ford Ranger Splash, named Ginger.
Before Vanilla, he had a five-year relationship with Victoria, a 1969 VW Beetle he bought from a family of Jehovah’s Witnesses.
His last relationship with a woman was 12 years ago – and he could not bring himself to consummate it, although he did have sex with girls in his younger days.
Mr Smith is now part of a global community of more than 500 “car lovers” brought together by internet forums. — Telegraph.co.uk
I can hardly wait for the movie. With music by the Cars, no doubt.
I also want to know how he does it. Where does he put it? The ignition switch? The tailpipe? Is there a part of a car as attractive to him as the family’s raw liver was for Portnoy? Do tell. I skipped school the day they taught car sex class during high school sex education.
I really loved my Pontiac Grand Prix, but not once did I have the urge to fuck it. It fucked me more than a few times, but only in the same sense that the auto mechanic did. It hurt, but no Sunbirds popped out nine months later.
For that matter, I never named any of my cars, either. I knew one guy who had a Rambler named “Cheeks,” but he never had sex with it (or anybody else, as it turned out, until quite late in his life. Medical problems. And he died young, as did the car). Maybe he missed his only chance.
Imagine youngsters parked in a dark lane somewhere, making out and getting serious. She smiles her encouragement as he produces the condom. Peeking out out the windshield to reconnoiter, they spot Edward Smith moaning like a lovesick pigeon as he humps and grinds the grill of his faithful VW beetle. I imagine it’s curtains for the young couple’s copulative performance. Poor bastard fellow heads home with blue balls to beat the band, while his date is traumatized worse than her first anal adventure.
Auto-eroticism taken to a new level, a distinctly low one.