Stuck in Park

First of all, thanks for the amazing response to Tuesday’s posts, especially the one about Secretariat Jessica Parker. I found that website nothing short of astonishing (as well as accurate). Haven’t seen anything quite like that since the kitler post, CatsThatLookLikeHitler.com.

But moving on. Here’s a specimen of meta mania. I premise this by confessing (again) that there is no human being, let alone blogger, with less technological skill than me. Usually I just blame Alesh. But lately I’ve been on my own.

I tried to edit one of my own comments in this blog and couldn’t figure out how. This is odd, because it’s something I’ve done before. I spent ‘way too much time monkeying with the Dashboard, Help Forums, different menus, and had no success.

So I submitted the question to the Help Forum, altho I didn’t reaqlizae this until just now when I got an answer. I didn’t realize it because I never got any kind of indication that it had been submitted (you know, like a plain English message saying, “Your comment has been received and a response will be sent within XX hours”). Nah. Ya gotta guess it. I guess.

Here’s the response:

Howdy!
You can edit comments through the Comments area in your dashboard.
Best,
Anthony
Automattic | WordPress.com

Very useful information, and nothing even a wanking dunce like me could have figured out, right? So I wrote back the following:

Thank you, Anthony. Except I can’t. I have 4 choices: “Approve,” “Mark As Spam,” “Unapprove,” and “Delete. ” Nothing about editing. Insofar as I used to edit, I spent 30 minutes looking around for the doorway or menu I needed, and couldn’t find it. Just tried again and still can’t. So your friendly suggestion is fucking worthless, isn’t it. It amounts to saying “Yes You Can” without telling me how after I said “No I Can’t” and pleaded for help. Please attempt to be constructive next time by providing step-by-step instructions, presumably devised AFTER you’ve tried it yourself. Thank you.

I don’t expect an answer. And I don’t expect that I’ll ever figure out how to do this unless somebody who reads this sends me instructions, or of WordPress adds another command or menu or something.

For the ten bazillionth time, I can’t to save my ass figure out how ordinary people make their way through these illogical, counter-intuitive, inexplicable activities without guidance. But evidently the whole world does, to my utter, open-mouthed and stinging jealous amazement.

Second post scheduled for noon, third for 2 PM. Thanks for your patience.

Update: Please See Below

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10 Responses to Stuck in Park

  1. Ms Calabaza says:

    Yes you can.

    ~ Hillary Clinton

  2. Manual Override says:

    I don’t expect an answer. And I don’t expect that I’ll ever figure out how to do this unless somebody who reads this sends me instructions, or of WordPress adds another command or menu or something.

    Ye of little faith. You got an answer that gave you step-by-step instructions. And just think of all the joy and hilarity you created in their offices. “I wonder if the moron has “Big Toe In First” printed on his shoes” they’re asking each other.

    Do you?

  3. Alex Cabrera says:

    RTFM?

    Just click on the link in the comment listing and it takes you to an editing form. I figure you would have just found that by accident.

  4. squathole says:

    Alex: Evidently I clicked on everything BUT the name of the commenter. Why would I click on something I DON’T want to edit as opposed to what I DO want to edit (this is an example of how I think: purely logically, which has absolutely no place in this practice, or anywhere else in the world).

    And why, if there are separate buttons to delete, mark as spam, etc., wouldn’t I look for a button to edit? Again, that’s logic, and again, it’s inapplicable.

    There is no manual, of course, and typing in How Do I Edit Comments? got me nowhere. Logic suggests that a help screen directing you to type in your direct question would help you to find an answer. It didn’t work.

    Look, as I say, most of the world seems to get through this without a hitch. I suppose some people have to work harder at it than others, and still get through. I can’t. It’s like asking a colorblind man to sort by color. I may want to, I can try, and I can drive myself batshit as I often do, but for me, it’s like trying to shit eggnog.

  5. alesh says:

    Also. Unless I’m mistaken, the forum is not a helpdesk. It’s a place for wordpress users to share information and occasionally to help the hopeless (you). Point being they’re doing you a favor, and are not paid (also have no direct affiliation with the folks who made wordpress, who are also incidentally volunteers), and deserve to be treated accordingly.

  6. Dr Who says:

    I think they should stop teaching logic. It just isn’t practicle. The universe is not logical and it doesn’t function logically. And it only serves to screw one’s head making you think that logic has some application in reality; it doesn’t. If logic and reality ever happen to be compatible it is mere chance my friend. Luck of the draw. Now how logical is that?

  7. squathole says:

    Alesh: There’s also the FAQ section, and an Index of topics (inc “Comments”). These were of no help, either. It’s my tired old complaint: why don’t these programs tell users how they work? Why do users need to guess at everything? And (he whined) Why is it that everybody else seems to be a much better guesser than I am? I NEVER guess right.

    Which leads me to agree with Dr Who’s insight. Maybe it’s the logic I was taught that fucked my head for anything practical.

    Ban logic. I am not here, and this is not now.

  8. Alex Cabrera says:

    Actually, WordPress does have an excellent interface, but clearly there is some room for improvement. The wordpress interface was recently overhauled by a company called Happy Cog (http://www.happycog.com/). They’re a pretty cool group and I’m sure they wouldn’t mind an email describing your problem and how you found it to be not intuitive.

    While there is a company sponsoring the development of WordPress, it is largely a community-maintained project started by a group of developers who needed a blogging solution and opened the code to everyone else. It’s insanely easier now that it was a few years ago, but to really run it properly you still need some basic knowledge of web technologies.

  9. squathole says:

    Alex: The version of WordPress this blog uses is indeed a lot more user-friendly than the one on which my previous blog was based. That noted, I can’t do much with it beyond the basics simply because I lack the basic knowledge you reference, and I don’t understand the language or know the terms that how-to help screens and instructions bandy about.

    Also, my instincts consistently steer me wrong, and I know if I screw something up I might not be able to repair my own damage. Like an amateur plumber working on a leaking toilet. In fact, just like that.

    I miss the days when I bought a software program that came with a fat manual filled with step-by-step how-to-do-it instructions and illustrations. All these years later, I still can’t get the hang of Windows, and hate taking my paws off the keyboard to mouse.

    If any software developer wanted to fool-proof a system, they should hire me to try to learn it…I’d make every conceivable blunder attempting to use it, and they could anticipate problems and fixes.

  10. Reader says:

    Its pretty obvious you don’t know what your doing with this blog cuz it looks so lame. I read it anyway but its dull and ugly. Cant somebody help you fix it up if you cant do it yourself?

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