Pit Stop and Raising Cane

My object all sublime
I shall achieve in time —
To let the punishment fit the crime —
The punishment fit the crime;
And make each prisoner pent
Unwillingly represent
A source of innocent merriment!
Of innocent merriment!
–Gilbert & Sullivan, “The Mikado”

It’s the “innocent merriment” we focus on here, because the “crime” committed itself rather makes us laugh:

A Singapore man with a penchant for sniffing women’s armpits was sentenced to 14 years in jail and 18 strokes of the cane for molesting his victims. He molested 23 women over the course of 15 months, smelling their armpits and touching them in lifts, staircase landings and their homes.

Caning on the buttocks is an additional punishment for male criminals in Singapore for offences ranging from vandalism to illegal possession of drugs and rape. — stuff.co.nz

So for his crime of pit-sniffing , he gets an ass-whipping. Phrased that way, it sounds like it’s right out of the 1885 G&S comic operatta. Does the punishment fit the crime? Is it even a crime? And is it really a punishment? My bet is the perp will enjoy his strokes as much as he does the bouquet of Ban roll-on.

“Not surprisingly, there are armpit fetishists in every culture,” explains my favorite psychobabblist Libby Rae Shone, Ph.D., when I call her for comment. “Both genders, straight and gay. It’s not a problem until somebody gets violated by becoming an unwilling participant.”

What — nostril rape? Doesn’t there need to be some contact, at least?

“Of course. If he’s just walking around inhaling, that’d be somewhat strange, but harmless. Obviously he was invading personal space, without consent of his victims.”

So it’s not just drive-by sniffing. Or long-distance smelling.

“Evidently. Sounds like he was forcing himself, nose-first, into women’s armpits. And case history suggests he experienced intense sexual pleasure from these encounters.”

Glad he got something out of it. You figure he’ll like the cane, too?

“Very probable, but I’d need to conduct my own examination to be sure. The thing about armpit fetishists is, they’re quite often kinky in a variety of ways, not limited to armpits. Chances are he’s into caning, pain, or other forms of degradation.”

You sound a bit hoarse, Libby. By any chance are you wearing a sleeveless blouse at the moment?

“I have a patient arriving in 2 minutes. I gotta go.”

Bye bye Libby Rae. Wonder if I can find a recording of the Mikado anywhere. Haven’t heard it since Sherlock Holmes went over Reichenbach Falls….

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14 Responses to Pit Stop and Raising Cane

  1. Ms Calabaza says:

    Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

  2. Helen Highwater says:

    Ditto Ms Calabaza. Armpits are the armpits of the body. If you know what I mean.

  3. Mumblety Peg says:

    Men are such pigs.

  4. Living Will says:

    I’ll be surprised if this post draws any comment. Even YOUR twisted people won’t want to get near it. I sure don’t!

    Although there IS something strangely erotic about that photo….

  5. Fran G'Panni says:

    Straight people have more of a problem with this than G/L people. Personally, I love it, but it must be shaved baby’s ass smooth.

  6. Old Timer says:

    First reference to the Mikado I’ve seen since the Truman administration. Who are you, anyway?

  7. Perry Nayem says:

    Oh sure, invade poor Axilla’s personal space and they call out the National Guard. Invade mine and they call it foreplay.

  8. Camiel Toe says:

    It’s called “body shots.” You take your favorite drink, apply it to the body part of your choice, and tongue it right off. Why should a salty little armpit be off limits? Mine aren’t.

  9. Claud Eustace Teal says:

    Pervert. They got his punishment backwards. They should cane him on his armpits and make him sniff his own ass.

  10. Offended Olfactory says:

    This could have been much worse….he could have been in to smelling asses or crotches like many a dog. And what about the women who got sniffed? Shouldn’t they be punished for reeking & causing some poor slob to loose control? Have you ever gotten into an empty elevator but knew who had just been in there because of the odor they left behind? I tell ya there oughta be a law.

  11. You May Call Me Pierre says:

    You Americans have so much growing up to do in so many areas, from the food you eat and the clothes you wear to the way you worship and even your sex. Here you are aghast at the way a man makes love to an armpit. A woman has no single part exempt from the kiss or caress of her lover. To love one must loves completely. Perhaps some day you will learn.

  12. Squathole says:

    You know, Pierre, even when you’re right you’re irritating. How do you manage that? You and Libby Rae Shone should get together and sniff each other all over.

  13. FerfelaBat says:

    15 years seems a little much to me.

  14. Living Will says:

    Would you please post something new? That armpit photo makes me queasy every time I open the page.

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