Hang Down Your Head, Don Julio

When you talk about toilet tourist towns, three cities come to mind immediately: New Orleans, Atlantic City, and Tijuana. And New Orleans almost had itself permanently flushed.

But I think, in light of the recent news, that Tijuana just got a leg up:

Tijuana, Mexico — “Cocaine?” a hustler working Tijuana’s seedy Avenida Revolución called out on a recent night, his voice not the least bit muted.

“How about girls?”

When neither offering elicited the desired response, he tried another: “Cuban cigars?”

He could have continued for quite a bit longer reciting from Tijuana’s extensive menu of contraband. One product from this border town, though, trumps all others in terms of shock value: death in a bottle, a liquid more potent than even the strongest tequila.

The drug, pentobarbital, literally takes a person’s breath away. It can kill by putting people to sleep, and it is tightly regulated in most countries. But aging and ailing people seeking a quick and painless way to end their lives say there is no easier place on earth than Mexico to obtain pentobarbital, a barbiturate commonly known as Nembutal. — NY Times

Gotta love that town — I’ve visited several times, only to be be dragged back to San Diego on a bus, screaming, singing, and clamoring for another shot of Reposado — but dammit, nobody offered me the Nembutal. I said Yes to everything, but typical of my luck, the cocaine was dandruff, the cigars were HavaTampa knock-offs, and the whore’s 5 o’clock shadow made me suspicious. That being Mexico, she might have been (mostly) female anyway, but I wasn’t feeling scientifically inclined (see Don Juliio, above).

But death in a bottle? How about “Kevorkian in a Kan?” These Mexicans are sitting on a gold mine. In Atlantic City, they’re still selling salt water taffy!

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3 Responses to Hang Down Your Head, Don Julio

  1. Frank of Oregon says:

    Odd. I figured from reading this blog you drink Nembutal every morning. Like orange juice.

  2. Ms Calabaza says:

    Tijuana, Atlantic City and New Orleans are lame … you need to try Opa-Locka on Friday nights.

  3. Conch Republic says:

    Yo! Did you forget about Key West? Being the toilet tourist that you are I thought liked us down here in Old Navy Town. Hell!! I thought you loved us. You have always been one of our favorites! So even in spite of this slight we’re looking forward to seeing this weekend. Happy Cruzing!

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