Monthly Archives: July 2008

Wardrobe Malfunction

Novi, MI. – A 33-year-old Michigan man is accused of wearing a “World’s Greatest Dad” shirt to a meeting for sex with what he thought was a 14-year-old girl. Daniel Allen Everett of Clarkston was arraigned Tuesday in Novi (NOE’-veye) … Continue reading

Posted in NIMBY | 3 Comments

Throne Cracks Dome

FORT PIERCE – An 18-year-old woman accused of hitting a man with a toilet seat after reportedly finding him smoking crack in the bathroom is facing a battery charge, according to an arrest affidavit released Monday. —SFSS Reached for comment, … Continue reading

Posted in News From the Nation's Dicktip | 2 Comments

Wanted Dead or Alive (a love story)

Most Floridians are aware by now that in the state they call their home, it is not explicitly illegal to have sex with the family dog (or even a stray). Cattle, swine, poultry, even gators (I suppose) — when it … Continue reading

Posted in People Who Died, Died | 4 Comments

Barack Who’s Sane Obama

Think this 100% guaranteed genuine photo will cause any controversy? I mean, How can the American people elect somebody who wears sandals in the Oval Office? It’s the end of the world, I tellya.

Posted in Shaken and Stirred | 15 Comments

Ignoring the Elephant

I have a very good friend who has everything. His birthday approacheth. What does one get a man who has everything? Well, he’s a beer drinker, and years ago I introduced him to an incredible, powerful malt beverage from Denmark: … Continue reading

Posted in Shaken and Stirred | 12 Comments

Animals

This just bites. Parkland, FL – A man who keeps capuchin monkeys in his backyard was bit by a raccoon today while he was feeding them, the Broward Sheriff’s Office said. The victim was in an enclosure where he keeps … Continue reading

Posted in News From the Nation's Dicktip, NIMBY | 4 Comments

Erection Day Politics — Florida Style

I am shocked – shocked! – NOT that Gov Charlie Crist announced his engagement to be married, but at the relative silence that announcement inspired. So I make a few calls, and finally get through to society writer Cecelia Serpentine-Bouche, … Continue reading

Posted in News From the Nation's Dicktip | 12 Comments

Eat Me. Please.

World Cup Soccer? Pussies. The Superbowl? Packa pansies. The Stanley Cup? What’s that, athletic underwear? Nah. You want Real Men in Stinking, Sweating, Testosterone-soaked competition, you’re talking Major League Eating. News Archive Road Report: Nathan’s Famous Camden, NJ A large … Continue reading

Posted in Shaken and Stirred | 6 Comments

The Name Hussein Stays Mainly Out of Range

Latest gambit for certain folks of a progressive bent is to adopt the name “Hussein” as a way of demystifying it, theoretically blunting the force of flung wingnuts at their favorite candidate. Thomas Hussein Jefferson. I dunno. How about, Albert … Continue reading

Posted in Shaken and Stirred | 6 Comments

Bite The Bullet

Over the weekend, the conversation at the Liquor & Rubber Balls Sports Bar and Auto Supply (LRB’s) is all about owning guns, the Supreme Court, and Florida’s new Take Your Gun to the Day Care Center law that starts today … Continue reading

Posted in News From the Nation's Dicktip, The Adventures of Don Tequila | 8 Comments