Department of Dark Knight of the Soul

It turns out a construction site portable toilet wasn’t the best place to hide from two men who think you tried to break into their truck. Those portable toilets can be so easy to tip over when you’re inside with highly messy results.

That’s what the Tampa Police Department said happened to Lorenzo Earl Knight, 22, on Saturday afternoon near International Mall.

Police said Knight broke into a truck in the mall parking lot, taking a $500 digital camera and the owner’s manual. He had just jimmied the door of a second when its owner spotted him, the police report said.

Knight took off, leaving behind a shoe and the screwdriver he used to break into the trucks, police said.

The owner of the second truck and a friend chased Knight who tried hiding in a portable toilet at a construction site, police said. The owner and friend found Knight and tipped over the toilet to keep him there until police arrived.

Knight was covered with its contents, police said. He was arrested on two counts of burglary of a vehicle and one charge of grand theft.

Knight, who did not have a permanent address, was released from the Orient Road Jail after posting $6,000 bond.

…and hopefully, a shower. Meanwhile, his court-appointed attorney says he plans to move for dismissal. “Entirely circumstantial evidence,” he told reporters. “Don’t mean shit.”

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4 Responses to Gravitas

  1. Ms Calabaza says:

    sometimes this site is just full a sh^t …

  2. Hose B says:

    Roger that, Ms C. Except for the “sometimes” part.

  3. Ray Ed Gneck says:

    Perfect ending. I laughed my ass off. Also, I’m glad to see you’re back to posting this kind of stuff rather than moonbat liberal crap.

  4. Ruh Roh says:

    Wooo hooo! Covered in glory. Definitely Darwin material here….just give him time.

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