But…I Thought They Were Always Open!

Modesto, CA A man at a Denny’s restaurant in Modesto tried to cut off his own arm with first a butter knife and then butcher knife, police said.

Michael Lasiter, 33, had apparently injected air into a vein while shooting cocaine and feared he would die unless he amputated his arm.

Authorities say Lasiter ran into the Denny’s restaurant late Friday and started stabbing himself the arm with a butter knife he took from a table. When that knife didn’t work Lasiter took a butcher knife from the kitchen and tried, again unsuccessfully, to sever his arm, police said.

Police Sgt. Brian Findlen says Lasiter told officers he thought he needed to amputate his arm to keep himself from dying from the cocaine injection.

Lasiter was taken to a hospital for treatment of severe cuts and the Denny’s closed for the remainder of the night. ktla.com

Interesting that the poor bastard figures the air he may have accidentally injected was more dangerous than (a) the cocaine, and (b) the butcher knife he grabbed for the amputation. Guess he never heard of salmonella. Or MRSA. Or soap, for that matter.

Also interesting that they closed the ‘Always-Open Denny’s,” so that hourly wage workers are penalized by management concerned for pubic relations. Not to mention late-night/early morning diners desperate for Denny’s watery eggs, soggy toast, ancient microwaved meat-like entrees, etc.

“It’s not like he actually cut off his arm,” griped one late-night diner, evicted from his counter seat. “He screwed it up and just bleeded a little. They coulda helped him out and made some fresh side dish out of it — serve with some eggs like chipped beef and nobody woulda complained! We’d be happy!”

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2 Responses to But…I Thought They Were Always Open!

  1. Fearless Frank says:

    I’ve seen far worse incidents in Denny’s late at night than this one, and the waitresses never even spilled a drop of coffee. Guess they’re *sensitive* in SoCal.

  2. Ms Calabaza says:

    I’ll never look at their corned beef hash the same way … ugh!

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