“Melanoma and Melons”

I think I’m beginning to understand this Sarah Palin phenomenon.  By that I mean, I think I’m starting to figure out the reason she simultaneously (a) invigorated the wingnuts and (b) infuriated the moonbats.

It all goes back to Reagan.  Ever since President Alzheimer rode off into the fuzzy sunset, every would-be ‘Pub candidate has done his best to assure the party faithful that he, not his opponent(s), is the Next Incarnation of Ronald Wilson Reagan.  They did this while the former president, drooling and deteriorating daily, could offer no comment.  Even in California, vegetables don’t actually speak.  In fact, the only way they knew for sure that President Alzheimer finally died is he STOPPED shitting himself.

But even before the Swiss Cheesiation of his brain, Reagan was well-known to his closest associates and political handlers as an amiable dunce whose real talents lay in delivering the other people’s words.  He was, after all, an actor, albeit a lame one by Hollywood standards, but extraordinary in Washington.  With nary a clue, but surfeit of twinkle, his recitations of the ideolgoy du jour bedazzled the masses, delighting the right and delaminating the left for 8 solid years, despite a declining economy, growing debt, an illegal war fought from the White House basement, a corrupt and bloated government, etc.  You know the drill.

Then along comes Sarah, the first and most genuine incarnation of this Reaganesque personna ever.  So shallow and fragile a political figure that the party spinners keep her as mum and out of range from the foaming media hordes than American soldiers’ caskets coming home from Iraq, and for much the same reason.  What shallow record she has is a patchwork of flip-flops, but no matter: she mouths the red-meat platitudes about god, guns, small gummint, and fetus-fondling that pushes those ‘Pub base buttons.

See where this is going?  Wingnut Nation and Planet Moonbat both sees in Ms Sarah nothing less than Reagan’s Reincarnation. It’s their fondest fantasy and deepest dread.  Deja vu all over again.  Act II of the Enema.

I’m not a Palintologist, so I can’t say with confidence how this will play out.  I doubt the ‘Pubs will get smart and catch on to the game here — they’re not an insightful bunch as a rule, but more to the point, they don’t WANT to know — and the Dems tend to fight by forming circular firing squads.

So hold on, sports fans.  It’ll all be over soon enough.

This entry was posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to “Melanoma and Melons”

  1. Ms Calabaza says:


    something tells me that picture you posted of her just gave McCain at least 10 more votes. Most of our “readers” only look at the pictures anyways … “Palintology” ~ good one!

  2. Squathole says:

    Ms C: That would assume that 10 people even read this blog. Quite a stretch, especially on a Friday.

  3. Kent Standit says:

    I’ve studied tits for almost 12 years and I know that those aren’t hers. That photo is a fake.
    — Jeremy

  4. Red White & Blue says:

    Why do you hate America?

  5. Lazlo Toth says:

    Cut from yesterday’s interview:

    “Governor Palin, what is your position on the Bush Doctrine?”

    “Charlie do you mean my gynecologist?”

    “No, not ‘doctor.’ ‘Doctrine’.”

    “Well, Charlie ,Todd likes it shaved , but I refuse. That’s dangerous and I’m a feminist! God will tell me what to do.”

  6. Beardsley says:

    Your analysis of Palin’s impact makes good sense as far as it goes, but I think we need to go deeper.

    Fact is, many Americans crave clarity and simplicity. Right and wrong, black and white, up and down. Reagan’s platitudes (and delivery) resonated with these Americans. America is great. Worship God. Communism is evil. Abortion is murder. Only evil people try to confuse us with inconvenient truths and unpleasant facts.

    That became the standard Republican line, worked to great effect by party pros and spin docs for the last 25 years. Palin rings that same bell, and in the early days, she has near-perfect pitch. If she’s not Reagan redux, she sings from the same prayer book. And America is her choir.

    See you at the border.

  7. Joe Balls says:

    What slays me is the way no matter who it is, if he or she says anything negative about Palin, then he’s either an elitist or a woman-hater or a tool of the liberal media. The Repulsicans who whined about the way they couldn’t say anything bad about Obama without getting labeled as racists now play the exact same game.

    If hypocrites could pis gasoline, we wouldn’t have an oil crisis.

  8. Frank of Oregon says:

    Wow! WOW! Are those really hers? If she gets elected, those would be the two biggest boobs in the White House since Haldeman and Erlichman.

  9. One Man's Opinion says:

    If the ‘Pubs win this election then they will have elected a beauty gueen contestant to be VP; Regan was an actor elected Prez. You may be right; she could be the 2nd cumming (as in we’re all screwed). OMG!

    And the fact that Old Pumpkinhead will be the “in charge” guy is of no comfort.

  10. Melanoma says:

    John McCain will do for America what I’ve done for John McCain.

  11. Ms Calabaza says:

    One Man’s Opinion:

    Old Pumpkinhead? ~ you got a problem with pumpkins and squash?

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