I Dunno, Alaska

Here’s a really silly joke the sole redeeming feature of which is it’s about Alaska, which of late has been the focus of attention.

A guy makes what he figures is enough money to quit working, so he does, then buys himself an isolated ranch somewhere in  Alaska.  He settles in and doesn’t see a single living soul for about 6 months.  He’s…happeh.

One day while he’s having his morning coffee and staring across the snowy desolate plains, he spots an anomaly — something tiny, dark, and distant, moving toward him.  Over the next 45 minutes the shape becomes a bundled up human figure, and then 20 minutes later the figure knocks at his door.

“I’m your next door neighbor,” the human figure explains.  “Live over there — 14 miles west — just head straight for the sunset ‘tween 4 and 5 PM.  Can’t miss it.  Anyway, you’re new in the neighborhood, so I figure maybe you want to come to a party at my place next Saturday.”

The newcomer allows that after 6 months of isolation, maybe he would.

Neighbor nods.  “Great.”  See you maybe about 9 PM.”  He turns to go, then turns back.

“Oughta warn you,” he says.  “There’s likely to be some drinkin.”

Newcomer says that’s fine with him — he’ll bring something for everybody to share.

“Might be some fightin, too,” says Neighbor.

Newcomer says he can take care of himself.

“Also might be some sexual activity, too.  That a problem?”

Newcomer’s been alone for half a year.  “No, that’s not a problem,” he says.

Neighbor nods with satisfaction, then turns to go.  Newcomer says, “Not sure if this matters, but what should I wear?”

Neighbor thinks for a moment, says, “Don’t much matter, actually.  Just gonna be the two of us.”

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3 Responses to I Dunno, Alaska

  1. Ted End says:

    So — did he go?

  2. Sarah Palin says:

    There are very few homosexuals in Alaska, actually, but in my church, we pray for their souls and offer workshops to help lead them back to Salvation. We practice “hating the Sin, but loving the Sinner.” It works as well as Abstinence Only education programs.

  3. Sarah Palin's Grand-fetus says:

    If more people around here partied like these two guys. I wouldn’t be a campaign issue, just another bastard from Alaska.

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