Roll The Tape

True love takes many forms.  But duct tape and plastic ties?

A Port St. Lucie man accused of binding a woman’s hands and taping her mouth shut says he was only trying to get her attention, according to a St. Lucie County Sheriff’s deputies arrest affidavit.

According to the arrest affidavit, the woman said she was sleeping in her bed when she woke up and [Kevin] Franco was on top of her and binding her hands with heavy-duty plastic ties and putting duct tape on her mouth. That’s when the woman said she realized what Franco was doing and “freaked out” and began struggling and scratching Franco to get him off her. But Franco allegedly put his hands around her neck and held her down.

“Yes, I tied her hands and I taped her mouth closed, but only so she would listen,” Franco said.  — Sun-Sentinel

Can’t believe that didn’t work.  What the hell do women want?

Evidently Mr. Fanco was distraught over the couple’s break-up, poor bastard.  Couldn’t live without her, and she just refused to let him make his case.  What else can a guy do but tie her up and gag her while he pleads from the heart?  Send her flowers, liquor, and rubber balls?

I’m confident his new roommates will provide him with all the rough sex he wants, and then some.  So the story has a happy ending after all.

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5 Responses to Roll The Tape

  1. Ms Calabaza says:

    duct tape has always worked for us…wonder who called the police?

  2. Camiel Toe says:

    Great graphic. I’ve had my share of fun with duct tape, although that’s not what this guy was all about. Just goes to show the old adage: Tape Responsibly!

  3. Joe the Plumber says:

    I use duct tape all the time, although not on my girlfriends.

    BTW — I’m not really a plumber. And my name isn’t actually Joe. But I support John McCain whose campaign for president is falling apart daily. Maybe he needs some duct tape.

  4. Donald, Muscovy, Huey, Dewey, and Louie says:

    Oh, DUCT tape. We thought you said, well, never mind. Too much water in the ears.

    Follow our hilarious exploits on the World Wide Webbed.

  5. Chico says:

    “Fanco?” You’re welcome.

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