Scatological Rain Delay

It’s 11 PM Monday and the fifth game of the World Series is (a) tied at 2 and (b) under water.  Nothing to do but dredge up some soggy blog to pass the time before passing out.  What a way to see my team conclude victoriously.  If they do.  So:

How Did He Find Room With His Whole Head Up There?

Some birthday party here.

First a cop notices smoke coming from cell number A412B at Pasco County Jail, reports the St. Petersburg Times.  Smelled like cigarettes, which are banned.  So the cop pats him down and finds Loritab and Xanax pills, cigarettes, rolling papers and matches — in the front of his underwear.

Before landing in the cooler, the inmate, no stranger to a jail cell, had filled two “Happy Birthday!” balloons with the contraband — and hid them in his rectum.

Once inside, he got the party started. — Sun Sentinel

Very impressive.  Private party, I imagine.  Or maybe a “privates” party.

Next, a friend emailed me the following image, which he claims is an actual sign from the dorm where his son attends a fancy New England college:

“Semen related costs” must be a new accounting category.

I wonder what the manual — excuse the pun — says about enforcement of this regulation.  Are waterproof tickets issued?  If so, by whom?  Perhaps it’s left to the Honor System, but is there honor among wankers?  Do students turn themselves in after they turn themselves on?

Speaking of wankers, let’s see what Tim McCarver and Joe Buck are up to.  I suspect this game won’t end before dawn.

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4 Responses to Scatological Rain Delay

  1. Ms Calabaza says:

    OmG !

    I guess you were right about the game not ending … still rooting for those Phillies! (red-right?)

  2. Lazlo Toth says:

    The real question is why that game was even started. It was insanely cold and windy, and storms were certain. The power of television revenues, I guess.

  3. Mister E says:

    Too bad that masturbation ordinance isn’t real. If it were, the kids could stage the most hilarious protest rally since the days of Abbie Hoffman… a “beat-in” on the campus quod. Or President’s lounge.

  4. Ted End says:

    “Please masturbate in your own rooms.” That’s kind of harsh, isn’t it? Is than a direct order? Kids are REQUIRED to masturbate in their own rooms?

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