Aligning himself with a national trend, President Bush announced today that his administration would file for bankruptcy at the end of the week. Moral bankruptcy, that is.
Addressing the Washington media, White House spokeshole Phil McCrack explained that, “After the faked intelligence, the wink-wink-nudge-nudge signing statements, green-lighting torture and extreme rendition, subverting the Constitution, and politicizing science and research, we figure we’re hopelessly in moral arrears, and need to reorganize under bankruptcy protection.”
Pressed to comment on why the President’s selection of pathetically underqualified clown Alberto Gonzales to oversee politicization of the nation’s Judicial system wasn’t mentioned, McCrack noted that “When it comes to government lawyers, any talk of moral bankruptcy is oxymoronic.”
Elsewhere, informed that prospects of a bailout had been dismissed when no potential coalition of moral creditors could be convinced to contribute sufficient payment to right the wrongs of 8 atrocity-filled years, Vice President Garth Cheney’s office released a terse, one-word message: “So?”
“Understand that the President answers to a higher authority anyway,” McCrack explained. “He’s less concerned with what his critics say, or even how History will judge him, than he is for his standing before God, who, as you know, lives in the same racially segregated area of Texas where he recently bought a home at a steep market-decimated discount rate. This filing is for the benefit of the incoming administration, to allow them to commit and then wallow in their own ethical failures. Which have already started.”
Does this mean the President is finished making morally challenged decisions?
“His last day in office isn’t until January 19th,” noted McCrack. “There’s time for further atrocities. Right now he’s concentrating on permanent “lame duck” appointments of political hacks and cronies to make sure the new president can’t govern with complete integrity.”
That’s minor stuff. Anything real morally offensive?
“Well, he’s thinking about pardoning Gov. Rod Blagojevich. Does that count?”