I kinda missed the boat on the demise of Betty Page, who was all the rage back in the 1950s pin-ups era. Frankly, she never did it for me anyway: the 50s were such a turn-off, so bad, so oppressive and stultifying, that anything that suggested them turned me off and still does.
Besides, I never liked her real intense dark-haired look, even when she wrapped herself in leopard skin and chains, although I deeply appreciate the gesture. Over the years I saw ‘way too much of her — posing for Irving Klaw, making fetish photo and grainy black and white “smokers” — and while I knew lots of guys who foamed at the mouth and parts south worshipping her images one-handedly, I wasn’t one of them. I was holding out for skinny blondes.
The redheads came later. I caught a terminal case.
Anyhow, it’s getting on Christmas, and people are growing frantic looking for gifts they shouldn’t afford to give to others who don’t want or deserve them. I told Guido I wanted one gift only, and we already got it — a citrus tree I’ll plant next weekend. No need to wrap it, either.
But if you’ve got any doddering relatives left who still have a firing hormone or two and need some seasonal cheer, maybe this would do the trick while reminding them of their dearly departed Betty Dirtnap:
BARBIE’S new S&M look has whipped up a storm – with protesters dubbing it “filth.” The doll’s image is transformed with kinky fishnets, motorcycle jacket, black gloves and boots. Makers Mattel say Black Canary Barbie, out in September, is based on a DC comic superhero of the same name.
But religious group Christian Voice said: “Barbie has always been on the tarty side and this is taking it too far. A children’s doll in sexually suggestive clothing is irresponsible – it’s filth.” — The Sun.co.uk
Better than Sarah “Caribou Barbie” Palin, and just the ticket for dirty old gramps before he slides into Alzheimer Heaven. And at Christmas, what could be more appropriate than a gift condemned by the Church?