Khristmas With the Kinks

prayer-service-jesus-weepingIt will surprise nobody that I despise Christmas, and that I do my level best to resist its infliction on others as well as myself.  One way I do this is by refusing to respect requests for gift ideas.  Ask me what I want and I’ll tell you, “Peace On Earth.”   How un-Christmassy can you get?  (And, for the record, I never get it.)

Of course, there are lost of folks around who know what the holiday is supposed to be about.  You rarely hear from them, naturally, unless you seek them out.  I suggest paying a visit to the Salvation Army.  In fact, if you want to see the Real Deal in Action, visit them when it isn’t Christmas.

And feel free to donate something.  Unlike the banks President and Skank Paulson just bailed out with your money, they’re trustworthy, thrifty, and responsible.

kinksfr60283I do have one favorite Christmas song, written years ago by the Kinks, the lyrics of which follow.  (I don’t know how to embed the video and I’m ‘way too stupid to learn, so I just post the link.)

That’s it for me and this blog until next week.  Have yourself some enjoyable time off, and try not to murder anybody in traffic, get drunk and start a fight, or beat your loved ones.  Those incidents of fellowship and love usually multiply this time of year.

When I was small I believed in Santa Claus
Though I knew it was my dad
And I would hang up my stocking at Christmas
Open my presents and I’d be glad

But the last time I played father Christmas
I stood outside a department store
A gang of kids came over and mugged me
And knocked my reindeer to the floor

They said:
Father Christmas, give us some money
Don’t mess around with those silly toys.
Well beat you up if you don’t hand it over
We want your bread so don’t make us annoyed
Give all the toys to the little rich boys

Don’t give my brother a Steve Austin outfit
Don’t give my sister a cuddly toy
We don’t want a jigsaw or monopoly money
We only want the real McCoy

Father Christmas, give us some money
Well beat you up if you make us annoyed
Father Christmas, give us some money
Don’t mess around with those silly toys

But give my daddy a job cause he needs one
He’s got lots of mouths to feed
But if you’ve got one, Ill have a machine gun
So I can scare all the kids down the street

Father Christmas, give us some money
We got no time for your silly toys
Well beat you up if you don’t hand it over
Give all the toys to the little rich boys

Have yourself a merry merry Christmas
Have yourself a good time
But remember the kids who got nothing
While you’re drinkin down your wine

Father Christmas, give us some money
We got no time for your silly toys
Well beat you up if you don’t hand it over
We want your bread, so don’t make us annoyed
Give all the toys to the little rich boys.

Here’s the link.

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9 Responses to Khristmas With the Kinks

  1. Anonymous says:

    Squatty,
    Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones. And a Happy new year.

  2. Lazlo Toth says:

    I bet the reason you hate Xmas is that all you ever got was coal in your stocking and shit in your bed.

  3. Dawgbowl says:

    Oh, lighten up. You might as well BOHICA it because it’s inevitable, and if you quit grousing, you can get drunk and have a good time and nobody blames you.

  4. Frank of Oregon says:

    Poor baby. Look, if it makes you feel any better I’ll come on over and nail you to a cross so you can hang out for a couple of days.

  5. Ted End says:

    Ha ha! You spelled “Ckinks” wrong.

  6. Hose B says:

    Good song, ancient technology. Rumor has it the Kinks will regroup next year.

  7. ya'gotta'guessit says:

    Cheer up, Squats – go read some Jean Shepherd.
    I recommend “The Return Of The Smiling Wimpy Doll”.
    Have a drink, and bask in the magnificence of a Yule A Go-Go Tuneful Musical Revolving Table-Model Aluminum Xmas Tree.

  8. Pussy Whisperer says:

    Merry Christmas to Cammie, Chuckles, Ruddy, Harlet, Sagwa, Bamboo, Dumont, and Tiqi…

    Squats, go have some good tequila and take a nap…

    http://www.friday.com/bbum/2008/06/19/what-is-good-tequila/

  9. Uneeda says:

    Looks like somebody out in California went out of his way NOT to take your advice. Six dead, house burned down, and Santa shot himself in the head. Happy Holidays.

    Too bad his name wasn’t “Chester.” Then we’d have “Chet’s nuts roasting on an open fire…..”

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