Monthly Archives: January 2009

Arrested Development

We’ve had some daylight break-ins around the neighborhood over the last few months.  Pretty standard stuff: somebody quietly goes through a window, looks for something portable and valuable like jewelry or cash, then departs through a door.  The police have … Continue reading

Posted in News From the Nation's Dicktip | 15 Comments

Fiddle About

……Or, “Cello, Dolly.”  Read on. Back in 1974, in a letter to the British Medical Journal, Elaine Murphy reported that cellists suffered from the “Cello Scrotum,” a painful complaint caused by their instrument repeatedly rubbing against their body.  The claim … Continue reading

Posted in Shaken and Stirred | 8 Comments

A Finny Tail

It’s been a busy day.  Fortunately, this item needs little commentary: It must have been a bizarre experience for Robert van Dooren, salesperson at Bob’s Adventure Store in Weert.  A twenty-five year old inhabitant of the southern Dutch town parked … Continue reading

Posted in NIMBY | 7 Comments

Screw Taxes

It is virtually unheard of for any legal industry to ask to be taxed. And it would seem even more unlikely for any government, especially one facing down a nearly $2 billion budget gap, to hesitate when a business is … Continue reading

Posted in NIMBY | 9 Comments

We Are Fam-i-Lee…..

From the Sunday papers, here’s a pair of heart-warming stories about families and family values, those bedrock intuitive principles that political and cultural leaders advocate for us unenlightened citizen sinners. The Wacko from Waco Houston, TX    The mother of infamous … Continue reading

Posted in News From the Nation's Dicktip, NIMBY | 17 Comments

Beavis Finds New Partner

“It had been a week since Stephen Tucker hitch-hiked his way from Galveston, Texas, to Fort Lauderdale, and the shaggy, toe-headed nomad was tired and ready for his first hot shower in eight days.” — Miami Hurled Coming next season: … Continue reading

Posted in News From the Nation's Dicktip | 5 Comments

Lost in Space (another continuing series)

The post I lovingly prepared yesterday for today’s publication evidently vanished, and I’m too damn busy to reconstruct it.  Too bad: it was a loving re-creation of the conversation on the helicopter bearing Bush and his pack back to Tex-ass.  … Continue reading

Posted in Shaken and Stirred | 17 Comments

Chechan Chong

Guido and I accompany friends to see Cheech and Chong last night at the theater formerly known as Jackie Gleason, in Miami Beach.  More about that some other time, except to say that this is the first time I ever … Continue reading

Posted in Shaken and Stirred | 8 Comments

Governing While Black

Request:  Anybody who knows someone who says they couldn’t live in south Florida “because they’d miss the change of seasons,” please deliver that individual to my doorstep so I can stake him or her out naked on my front lawn … Continue reading

Posted in Playing With Balls | 8 Comments

Brain Farts (a Continuing Series)

It’s Only Money From the nation of Zimbabwe, which at the urging of the World Bank guided by economist Milton Freedman’s disciples (appointed by former President George W. Bush) embraced a series of “reforms” to straighten out its inflationary woes….. … Continue reading

Posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment | 14 Comments