Brain Farts (a Continuing Series)

It’s Only Money

From the nation of Zimbabwe, which at the urging of the World Bank guided by economist Milton Freedman’s disciples (appointed by former President George W. Bush) embraced a series of “reforms” to straighten out its inflationary woes…..

The country’s stratospheric inflation rate, one of the worst in world history, entered a new, yet more incredible realm on Friday as the Reserve Bank introduced a new family of trillion-dollar bank notes, beginning with one for 10 trillion Zimbabwean dollars, which is worth about $8 on the black market. The state media reported the bank would also gradually release $20 trillion, $50 trillion and $100 trillion notes.  — NY Times

There’s a valuable lesson here for the incoming Obama administration.  Insofar as its plan to rescue the economy includes printing more money — did you ever think it was that simple? — why not knock liberty_trillion_dollar_billaout a few rolls of trillion dollar bills?  Peel a few off and get ’em circulating and there’s the deficit all paid off.  There!  Next problem.

Just make sure you don’t put Milton Freedman’s picture on it.  Don’t want people burning them.

P.S.  Felt good writing the word “former” in the first paragraph. Was it good for you too?

Rumor Stopper

There is no truth to the rumor making the rounds on teh internets that the USAir plane that went down in the Hudson last week was co-piloted by Ted Kennedy.

13gitmo1480I Like To Be In America

Among the thousand items that commentators predict will be “among the first” on the new administration’s agenda is closing the Guantanamo prison.  This raises the problem of a new location for custodial care of prisoners whose release is not imminent.

I have the perfect location.  Available, convenient, great view, not far from shopping and dining, and comes with a nice dollop of poetic justice.  How about Ground Zero?

Even with unions to pay off, it would be a matter of mere months to construct a basic prison building (waterboarding facilities optional) on the site, which remains unoccupied more than 7 years after the attack.  While the greatest minds and most powerful interests stay deadlocked on rebuilding, the valuable real estate could host this symbolic as well as practical structure, showing the world that Yes, America is Back and Moving Forward Again.

As for where the money comes from, see first item, above.

This entry was posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment. Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Brain Farts (a Continuing Series)

  1. Red White & Blue says:

    Why do you hate America?

  2. Agustin R. Farinas says:

    Squatty,
    why not let them all loose like they have done with the other 66 who have rejoined their old comrades in their terrorists organizations? My solution is to have them all shot by firing squas and this way they can become martyrs for the cause and finally get their 72 virgins they so anxiously desire.

  3. Piles says:

    The airplane disappearing under water is the perfect image for US Air and the airline industry as a whole.

  4. Beardsley says:

    Agustine R. Farinas gives voice to a sentiment too often heard: that the sole choice is freeing them all or killing them all. In fact, while many of the prisoners held are dangerous, many are bewildered innocents snatched up by powerful political enemies who either framed them or sold them out.

    But no matter what their story, the Gitmo facility and the parody of American justice it represents and practices are abominations, a black eye to this country, and an ineffective tactic against the very terrorism we’re trying to defeat.

  5. Hose B says:

    Whose picture SHOULD be on the trillion dollar bill? How about Courtney Love?

  6. Joe Balls says:

    Felt good writing the word “former” in the first paragraph. Was it good for you too?

    Yeah. Real good. Gotta smoke?

  7. Sniper says:

    I’m with Agustin. If we’re going to error, let’s do it on the side of caution and our own best interest. Close Gitmo, sure. But first shoot all the prisoners dead. Nobody of any importance will complain, and for certain we will eliminate some bad elements.

  8. Fearless Frank says:

    A trillion might not do it. You see what’s going on in the market even while Obama takes his oath? The Bank of Scotland is wobbling on the edge, and London is promising a second bailout. Meanwhile, the DOW is tanking.

  9. Ruh Roh says:

    If Ted Kennedy was the pilot on that plane, everybody would be dead but him because they’d drown while he swam ashore. Brain cancer and all.

  10. Claud Eustace Teal says:

    Frank: Mark my words: within 10 minutes of the oath, the wingnut media will blame Obama for the market’s collapse!

  11. Mark Skidd says:

    The Oaf of office has left the building.

  12. Ted End says:

    hey did you see the inauguration? The new president is black! Really! WE HAVE A BLACK PRESIDENT! Talk about unrealitude!

  13. NME says:

    What a first for the United States! A Hawaiian president! Hula hula!

    The way I heard it was:
    Q: Where did US Air get that flight path?
    A: Ted Kennedy’s road map.

    Or something like that.

  14. One Man's Opinion says:

    Camp Justice……I love it. Great idea. I wish I knew who, in government, to send it to.

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