Request: Anybody who knows someone who says they couldn’t live in south Florida “because they’d miss the change of seasons,” please deliver that individual to my doorstep so I can stake him or her out naked on my front lawn tonight and record the effects of hypothermia.
Speaking of nipply weather:
Well, those prudes in Tampa got their way, and the Lingerie Bowl won’t be tainting their apparently pure city. Instead a nudist resort in Pasco County stepped in and saved the day. The joint is appropriately called the Caliente Clothing Optional Resort, which should fair well for the Miami Caliente team.
The Caliente will play the Tampa Bay Breeze January 30. The winner will then play either the L.A. Temptations or the Phoenix Scorch during the Super Bowl’s halftime in a live pay-per-view program. —New Times Riptide
This is welcome news to those of us who really don’t care as much for the game as we do for the party. With all due respect to Ben Roethlisberger and his P-Berry Steelers, I’d much rather watch nearly naked muscular nubile young women gambol across green painted fields, sweatily grabbing and clawing at each other’s flowing hair and surgically enhanced firm flesh. Lord that’s a lot of bouncy……. adjectives.
It should be fabulously entertaining, especially because by then, the new administration in Washington will have solved all the nation’s problems. I know this because I heed what I hear on Radio Wingnut — particularly on Wiener World — that Obama’s constituency regard the new president as the new Savior, capable of transforming water not into wine, but dollar bills and 8% T-Notes overnight. Hallelujah! We Are Saved! Celebrate!
Wingnuts have already blamed the day’s market performance (down 300+ points, or 4%) on the new President. Lack of confidence. Fear of a socialist takeover. GWB syndrome (no, not George W. Bush. “Governing While Black”). Nothing to do with the news from overseas, for example, which had markets reeling even before Wall Street awakened Tuesday morning. Or the last 12 months’ trends. It’s all Almighty Obama’s fault. He’s that good.
So yes, wait two weeks for the Lingerie Bowl, when the whole world straightens its priorities once more.