Monthly Archives: January 2009

Fine Corinthian Dirt

Ricardo Montalban November 25, 1920 – January 14, 2008 Chrysler (also pictured above) is next.

Posted in People Who Died, Died | 3 Comments


If you missed is somehow, Men’s Fitness Magazine declared Miami as the “Fattest City in America.” We’re Number One. Also listed was the nation’s fittest city, but who cares? Let’s celebrate our own victory, and leave lesser titles for underachievers … Continue reading

Posted in News From the Nation's Dicktip | 12 Comments

The Flesh is Weak — And Expensive

See what happens when you don’t pay your bills?  You get honest businessmen in hot water. A man has been arrested for trying to sell his 14-year-old daughter for $16,000, 100 crates of beer. and several cases of meat.  The … Continue reading

Posted in NIMBY | 11 Comments

Not Only For Change, But EXTRA Change!

Don Tequila, tending bar this evening in the Liquor & Rubber Balls Sports Emporium and Vegans-Cleansed-While-U-Wait, silently passes me the newspaper with the following story as he draws me a cold Pilsner Urquel (special tonight): Timothy F. Geithner, President-elect Barack … Continue reading

Posted in The Adventures of Don Tequila | 13 Comments

You Want Fries With That?

On Dec. 9, Mr. [Andre]Thomas, who was on death row for killing an infant, pulled his eye out and ate it. Mr. Thomas, 25, had already pulled out his other eye in 2004 while awaiting trial in Sherman. He was … Continue reading

Posted in NIMBY | 8 Comments

Ink Stained (W)retch

The quote has been around so long its origins may never be known.  Last time I saw it, Mike Schmidt was the culprit, speaking about the city where he played his entire Hall of Fame career: “Philadelphia is only place … Continue reading

Posted in Playing With Balls | 11 Comments

Bail THIS Out

Wasn’t that a great speech on Thursday from POTUS-elect?  Had Monkey Boy been half that articulate in the last 8 years, why, I’d have bought him a bunch of bananas myself. But he left out one ingredient, and thank god, … Continue reading

Posted in Playing With Balls | 8 Comments

Paging Norman Rockwell

Back in the Days of Yore, I thought I knew something about sex.  After all, year in and year out, I’d been absolutely consumed by just thoughts of it, let alone actual activities, devoting every waking (and evidently some sleeping) … Continue reading

Posted in Shaken and Stirred | 23 Comments

Donkey Business

Well, thinking it over (and over — I have no life), I conclude that Roland W. Burris deserves to be seated in the new Congress as the junior senator from Illinois.  Which, despite the way that sounds, isn’t a punishment.  … Continue reading

Posted in NIMBY | 13 Comments


Always good to start the year by learning something new.  Here’s what I learned: Forrest B. Raffel was to roast beef what Col. Harlan Sanders was to chicken.  With his younger brother, Leroy, he founded Arby’s — which, contrary to … Continue reading

Posted in Shaken and Stirred | 7 Comments