Literary End Game

171900870_8e297b850aNot too long ago I posted something about iPhones and gas.  As in anally expelled.  Farts.

Ms. Calabaza, a regular commenter whose blog I follow and thoroughly enjoy despite our obvious divergent perspectives, was quick to point out that Adolph Hitler was a world class farter as well as a top-shelf demon.  Coming from a Cuban familiar with treachery in government and totalitarianism, that’s high-class, heartfelt condemnation.

I read the NY Times religiously — that means I wear a hat when I open its pages — including the Sunday book reviews, but I tend to set them aside and find myself anywhere from 4 to 10 weeks behind.  So only recently did I encounter Patrick McGrath’s write-up of Winnie and Wolf by A.N Wilson, which includes this selection from the novel:

There is a scatological leitmotif in this narrative, morally figurative of the Nazi ambience. Watching Hitler deliver a speech from an upstairs window, Herr N. notes that with every patriotic phrase, “the buttocks let out the quickfire whumps and cracks that accompanied the volleys firing from the mouth, and the room gradually filled with a gaseous sulphur odor.” He comes up with his “flatulence theory”: the idea that Hitler at the moment of orgasm would break wind. No woman could be expected not to laugh, and to Hitler this would be intolerable. But Winnie Wagner, with her hero-­worship of the man and her great warmth of heart – with her, it would be different. — NY Times Book Review

Great image, yes?  The Fuhrer filling the room with venomous acridity from both ends simultaneously.  How universally appropriate.  I gave up on Wilson’s novels after about the sixth I read; it was the same story and characters over an over again.  Maybe I’ll try this one.  Any guy that writes about farts can’t be all bad.

photo credit: Cats That Look Like Hitler. They’re called “Kitlers.”

This entry was posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Literary End Game

  1. Agustin R. Farinas says:

    I conjure images of the Fuehrer listening to Lohengrin or better yet, the ride of the Valkyries, and farting at the same time, while trying to keep up with the mounting crescendos in the latter. Priceless.

  2. Fidel Castro says:

    As the owner of a plastic anus, I find your disrespect toward another great world leader with a similar problem inflammatory.

  3. Lois Terms says:

    Cute kitty. You’ve cited that web page before, and it always makes me laugh.

  4. Mister E says:

    Cat farts are the worst. I wonder if cats who look like Hitler fart even worse than ones that don’t.

  5. Ms Calabaza says:

    Heavy winds blew my satellite and left me internet-less for two days. Imagine my glee to find you had another fart story when I logged back on! Wooo-hoooo!

  6. Barbara Ganousch says:

    I actually dated a guy — briefly — who often farted during orgasm. The first time was a shocker, the second was kind of funny, and the third was the last because he didn’t just fart.

    Hell is the life of a single woman.

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