Look. February is a very tough month for me. It’s the worst weather of the year, and there’s a lot of built-in stress-filled days that come with the turf. Work related deadlines. Spouse-related sand traps. It’s just a bad time of year made more tolerable only by the fact that I see it coming, and take appropriate action. Like hiding and whimpering between shots of Partida.
It reminds me of this fable…….
A guy makes his money, has his fill, and decides he’ll have no more. He dumps his wife, his job, his obligations, then moves out to a snowy plain in Alaska and sets up house. There he lives in complete snowbound isolation for about 6 months.
One morning he’s sitting outside bundled up nursing his Jack Daniels, and there’s a black spot moving on the horizon. Over the next hour it gets marginally larger and more distinct; by 10:00 he can make out a human figure, and by 10:45 that shape is standing at his doorway. Turns out it’s about a six foot eight 366 pound bearded human beast.
“I’m your next door neighbor,” it says. He gestures to the west. ‘Bout 12 miles thataway. I’m havin’ a party Saturday, thought you might like to drop by.”
Our man, who hasn’t had much human contact lately, allows he might use the distraction, thanks.
“Eight o’clock,” growls the giant. “See you there.” He starts back, then stops.
“Better warn ya,” he says. “Sure to be some heavy drinkin’.”
Our guy grins. “Sure to join ya.”
The big guy nods. “Might could see some fightin’.”
Our man shrugs. He can take care of himself, need be.
The big guy nods again, says, “Might could be some pretty wild sex, too.”
Our guy hasn’t had a thrill since he moved. “I’m okay,” he says. “Ready and readier.”
Big guy locks eyes a moment, nods once more, starts walking west. Our man calls out, “Hey! Anything special I should wear?”
Big dude stops in his tracks, frowns, shakes his head. “Nah, don’t much matter. Just gonna be the two of us anyway.”
That’s what I’m saying about February.