Dude, Where’s My Dentu-Creme?

Paul Harvey died over the weekend, ending his daily Whistling Dentures Program at last.

He was the most-listened-to broadcaster in America, whose shows originating from studios at Michigan and Wacker were heard by 25 million people every day at the peak of his career.

CB026533His programs were carried by 1,200 radio stations, plus an additional 400 stations of American Forces Radio. His syndicated newspaper column was at one time carried in 300 newspapers.

Appearing before a congressional subcommittee on offensive radio and TV broadcasts in 1952, Mr. Harvey condemned comedians “steeped in the nightlife of bawdy Manhattan” and claimed that their “girdle gags” had forced him “to turn off the radio to keep from blushing in front of my wife.”

He once described his listeners as a “vast, decent, middle-income, middle-IQ audience,” and Mr. Harvey’s politics reflected the right-wing slant of mainstream America.  When Sen. Joseph McCarthy came to Chicago in 1954, he was a guest at Mr. Harvey’s home. —  Chicago Sun-Times

Paul Harvey was everybody’s Great Uncle Old Fart, a condescending bore whose insufferable moronic blatherings were beneath contempt, let alone refutation.  The kind of rod-up-the-ass moralist who epitomized obedient, conformist  middle-class white suburbanite lifestyles.  Decency Uber Alles.  We’re a Christian nation, we never discuss sex,  and we stand for the flag.

His brain dead era came and went, but he hung on like a herpes canker.  And that godawful cracking voice!

Finally, after half a century, he’s shut up and shut down. Funeral refreshments will feature white bread and vanilla jello.  Gentlemen, polish your wingtips.


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19 Responses to Dude, Where’s My Dentu-Creme?

  1. cara says:

    It’s your house so I guess I gotta suck it up. But, damnit, I LIKED Paul Harvey. I used to listen to him with my grandpa and we’d dance in front of the his huge cabinet radio.
    So…I shouldn’t….but….can’t help it.

    BE NICE SQUAT!

  2. Mr Schwinnckle says:

    Damn here I thought he was dead, just like 1/2 the commisioners in the seats at Dania Bitch….

  3. Old Timer says:

    You don’t have any idea of what you’re talking about. Paul Harvey was the calm, reassuring voice of America for decades whose thoughtful opinions and suggestions reflected a distinctly American way of life, filled with optimism, compassion for others, respect for the nation’s institutions, etc.

    I suppose all this sounds hokey or corny to a cynic like yourself in this day and age, but there was a time — and it was a BETTER time — when all this not only made sense, it was the only truth anybody needed.

  4. sharpshooter says:

    Squahole,
    It is sad that your post is saturated with comtempt and monu-mental disdain for the traditional American values that Paul Harvey spoused.
    This sentence in particular, is drenched in vitriolic rethoric:
    “The kind of rod-up-the-ass moralist who epitomized obedient, conformist middle-class white suburbanite lifestyles. Decency Uber Alles.”

    Now, I ask you: what is wrong with morality and decency? Are you implying with the Uber Alles snide remark, that American values of decency and morality are fascist or nazi like? It is exactly because of our lack of morality and decency that our nation is in the great abyss and facing the difficulties at the present moment. Greed, lack of scrupules, total absence of morality and decency have got us to this state of affairs where the America we grew up in, has almost disappeared and what it has replaced it does not look very pretty or worthy of admiration.
    What a sad commentary on our nation! We have become a nation of cynics where the the citizens have lost their core beliefs in the principles that made this nation great and the object of admiration and envy in the whole world. Hardwork, the work ethic, self reliance, a can do philosophy, Amercian ingeniuty and belief in God. In its place now we have a country where fear, greed and uncertainty, and the philosphy of “me first and damn everyone else”, are reigning supreme.
    Sorry, but I miss the kind of America that Paul Harvey talked about daily in his radio program and that he believed in. I am really sorry that my children will be the poorer for not being able to enjoy that nation.
    It is sad to see the kind of nation we have bequeathed to them.

  5. Dawgbowl says:

    Sharpshooter’s take is classic mullet-headed mid-America, isn’t it? Almost a stereotype. You probably write it yourself, Squatto, just for laughs.

    Actually, I kind of enjoyed Paul Harvey’s “rest of the Story” commentary, cornball that he was. But when he slipped in his conservative politics, I felt the same way you do. Just another establishment tool telling us all to get in line.

  6. Mark Skidd says:

    All this time I’ve been fiddling with my radio, and now I realize what I was hearing was the old fart’s dentures. Damn!

  7. Fran G'Panni says:

    I hear ya, Squats. The church is filled with nice, decent fellows like him and his listeners who pray for my deliverance from the horrible sin of homosexuality. Which leads to communism, you know. And marijuana.

  8. Lois Terms says:

    The poor dear man. He had such a nice smile, too. 🙂

  9. NME says:

    All those qualities that Sharpshooter listed were MISSING in the very people that conservatards like Paul Harvey praised all his life, like the bankers, lawyers, financial wizards, and pols from both parties who raped and pillaged the American system. Me first and screw everybody else was their mantra. These are the blowhards you heard every week in Rotary and the Chamber of Commerce, with Paul Harvey fans nodding their little heads in patriotic approval.

    Sharpshooter: you’re blind! BLIND!

  10. Kent Standit says:

    You popped open a can of worms this time, Squatso. But I guess you knew if you’d trash Paul Harvey, a dependable if ignorant corps of fans would rush to his D.

    Maybe “ignorant” is too strong. How about “middle-IQ”? That’s from Harvey himself.

    Say Sharpshooter: I notice that in your list of good old American virtues that made this country great you didn’t mention literacy. Or display it, either.

    Out.

  11. Red White & Blue says:

    Paul Harvey was a great American, beloved by millions. He spoke the truth where he saw it in plain straightforward terms that anybody could understand, whether you agreed or didn’t. You’re just a loudmouth who amuses himself by tearing down others. Have a nice day.

  12. sharpshooter says:

    Kent Standit,
    “What ever the motive for the insult, it is always best to overlook it; for folly doesn’t deserve resentment, and malice is punished by neglect.” ~ Samuel Johnson

    The problem with folks like you is that when you can’t argue your point smartly, you have resort to insults and demeaning words as your last weapon. I have had enough experience with the likes of you to know is a better policy just to ignore you.
    As far as literacy is concern, I will tell this: Tell me what you presume of, and I will know what you lack.

  13. Squathole says:

    Sharpshooter: Nice to see you here. I see you’ve already attracted some fans, too.

    It’s interesting you conclude that because I don’t share Paul Harvey’s world view, and don’t care much for his particular moral values, I have none of my own. Or that the list of virtues whose departure you lament — work ethic, self-reliance, etc. — are the exclusive province of Harvey’s middle America.

    The very people with whom Paul Harvey was most at ease, and who rewarded him most, are the same white-shoed establishment fixtures who over the years have done the most harm to middle Americans. Whether it was red-lining neighborhoods, driving up the price of oil, foisting shoddy goods on consumers, absolutely trashing the financial markets world-wide, etc. — these corporate masters of the universe were Paul Harvey’s idols. Trust them, he told us for 40 years. Trust the system. It’s American.

    Sorry, pal. Ain”t buyin’.

    While you say “Greed, lack of scrupules, total absence of morality and decency have got us to this state of affairs where the America we grew up in, has almost disappeared,” you didn’t specify whose greed and indecency it was. There’s plenty of blame to go around, but a suck-up like Paul Harvey would never call it out on his side of the street. He’d rail against war protesters, but warmongers. He’d sneer at dishonest welfare cheats, but “corporate welfare” wasn’t in his vocabulary.

    I don’t do “folksy” real well, so his style and demeanor just made it worse for me. Almost as bad as his goddam whistling dentures.

    Good day!

  14. Ted End says:

    No way is that Paul Harvey. He’s way too short.

  15. Ruh Roh says:

    You call me, Superbee?

    It’s telling that Sharpshooter responded to the insult, but not any of the genuine points that appear in this thread.

    The obituary notes that Paul Harvey was friends with both Joe McCarthy and Richard Nixon, two of this country’s worst moral offenders among elected officials. Given his weak judge of character, I don’t see how this man’s radio preaching should be taken seriously.

  16. SuperBee says:

    Oh, gosh. I was just quoting Scooby-Doo.

    Nevertheless, Paul Harvey’s death affects me… not at all.

    We didn’t listen to him growing up, because my parents were a group of tofu-eating, wine-collecting, yoga-practicing, camping, primitive-mask-collecting, educated, Boston-grown, government bureaucrat LIBERALS poisoning our young minds with NPR and PBS and Mollie Katzen cookbooks, and Daniel Pinkwater, and African food for dinner…

    So, I didn’t grow up in a house where we listened to much Paul Harvey. In fact, until he died, I had no idea who he was. And I turned okay…

    For a liberal homo lawyer…

  17. Ruh Roh says:

    ‘Bee: No problem, man. We all had parents. Like Jesus himself said about his: “We all have our cross to bear.”

    BTW — it’s not Scooby-Do, it’s the Jetsons.

  18. RaiulBaztepo says:

    Hello!
    Very Interesting post! Thank you for such interesting resource!
    PS: Sorry for my bad english, I’v just started to learn this language 😉
    See you!
    Your, Raiul Baztepo

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