Torture in C# Minor

“Goddamit!  Jeeesus Kuurr-riiist!  Turn that crap down!” Throughout my teenage years, those are the words I heard my father use most often.  He was referring, of course, to the music I was blasting, which he abhorred almost beyond words.  After a while it didn’t matter what it was, either: Rolling Stones, Tijuana Brass, Little Mary Sunshine, or the Elvephillies_chocolate_5pks2s Gnomes Leprechauns Little Men’s Chowder and Marching Society — it was TOO DAMN LOUD.  Turn that crap down!!

This from a man who perched in his underwear before the Dynakit Hi-Fi blasting Gilbert and Sullivan operettas, following the lyrics in a paperback book and bellowing along (“I’m called Little Buttercup, Sweet Little Buttercup, tho’ I shall never know why…..”).  Standing to conduct the orchestra with a smoldering and stinking Phillies blunt.  Great god’s bloody wounds.  But that’s another story, and a goddam funny one.  Wish I had photos.


In an interview with the British newspaper The Mail on Sunday, Binyam Mohamed, who was recently released from the United States detention camp in Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, discussed his treatment while in American custody and renewed his claim that he was tortured. “There were loudspeakers in the cell, pumping out what felt like about 160 watts, a deafening volume, non-stop, 24 hours a day. They played the same CD for a month, “The Eminem Show.” It’s got about 20 songs on it, and when it was finished, it went back to the beginning and started again.”

Read the whole article.  It’s a scream.  Evidently the best shit to drive a prisoner crazy is heavy metal crap like Metallica.  No surprise, right?  logo_meowmixHow much of that can you handle, unless you’re cabbage-brained Beavis and Butthead?

But other interrogation techniques featured obnoxious soppy crap like Kris Kristofferson’s Greatest Hits!  And Matchbox 20!  I read one account of prisoners reduced to sobbing gelatinous mold after a few hours of Meow-Meow-Meow-Meow Meow-Meow-Meow-Meow Meow-Meow-Meow-Meow MEOW-Meow-Meow-Meow ­from the Meow Mix commercial.  Hell, that was torture just to type!

Personally, I’d enjoy an hour on the rack compared to the same amount of time sitting in an armchair exposed to Journey’s Greatest Hits. Fifty lashes or Sinead O’Connor?  String me up!  Lay them on!

The power of Art.  Good thing most musicians use it for Good, not Evil.  Best leave Ted Nugent out of this.

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10 Responses to Torture in C# Minor

  1. Ms Calabaza says:

    the Elves Gnomes Leprechauns Little Men’s Chowder and Marching Society?

    -this explains sooooo much . . .

  2. Private Partz says:

    Yeah, what Ms Calabaza said. “They only come out at night…..”

  3. Mister E says:

    One man’s torture is another man’s pleasure. I find Gilbert and Sullivan unbearable, let alone flavored tobacco. And on the subject of underwear, what’s wrong with Ted Nugent?

  4. Mister E says:

    And on the subject of underwear, what’s wrong with Ted Nugent?

    Well, something, anyway. Something serious.

    I can handle Journey and don’t know from Sinead O’Connor. But I’ll happily take electrodes on my scrotum before I’d submit to hours of Neil Diamond. Both have the same effect anyway.

  5. Art Rocks says:

    I LOVE Metallica. LOVE ’em! But I hate music.

  6. cara says:

    I would give up the goods if they cranked up AirSupply…. Misery disguised as song….

  7. Sharpo Marx says:

    So the scumbag complained because they played music for him in his cell. Well sounds like much better treatment than what some of the captured Americans and British got when they fell into their hands. Personally I would have played speeches of Menachem Begin very loud and then finish by feeding them pork chops and pork sausages for breakfast lunch and dinner. And naturally for dessert I would have let my dog shit on them.

  8. Squathole says:

    Sharpo, you old softie, you. Did it escape your attention that the US released the prisoner? That he was neither a soldier nor a terrorist, but some poor slob conveniently sold out by the British government, which is now seeking to get out from under litigation of its own?

    Sure, get tough with terrorists. But torturing innocents is as misguided as declaring war on an entire country for no reason. Oh, wait. We already did that, too.

  9. Sharpo Marx says:

    I am sure any of the Americans captured by the the Islamo-fascists terrorists (there I said it!), would have loved to trade their treatment for the one the Gitmo terrorists were “enduring” so heroically and “gallantly”.
    Three square and nutritious meals a day, Koran readings, prayers 5 times a day while facing Mecca (no less!) , daily walks in the sun, exercises and games.
    Heck, I am sure the Cuban prisoners of Castro on the other side of the fence, would have loved to be “tortured” that way by the American authorities!

  10. Beardsley says:

    Sharpo Marx: Or may I just call you “SM?” Under the circumstances, it might be appropriate.

    I can tell you didn’t actually read the article cited. If this man is telling the truth — something that courts will attempt to determine — he wasn’t getting 3 squares and 5 prayer sessions, particularly when he was chained immobile for a week subject to audio torture.

    That’s not the real point. The measure of a civilization isn’t how effectively it can torture. Your remark about changing places obscures the real issue, which is torture itself. You’re not actually suggesting that “mild” torture is acceptable because brutal regimes like Castro’s and Huessein’s are worse, are you?

    Not only that, but as Squathole pointed out, this man was eventually released. No evidence links him to terrorist acts, anywhere. That means our government tortured an innocent man. Are you an American citizen? Is this the kind of government you want for yourself? That’s the real point.

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