Ten children at a day care center drank windshield wiper fluid after the owner served it from a container mistaken for Kool-Aid and placed in a refrigerator, the authorities said. Doctors say the children, ages 2 to 7, drank about an ounce of the blue fluid Thursday before realizing it tasted wrong, said Dr. Laura James, a pediatric pharmacologist and toxicologist at Arkansas Children’s Hospital.. — NY Times
Got that? Plan A was to serve the kids Kool-Aid. In the beloved home state of former President Blowjob, this is considered health food. But some brain-dead clod stuck windshield wiper fluid in the fridge, where a certified family services professional found and served it, thinking it was as a refreshing sugar-saturated beverage for pre-teens.
Gawd Above, I’m glad (a) I don’t have kids, and (2) I’m not an Arkansawyer.
“It tasted wrong.” What little Obadiah meant was, it tasted just like the Kickapoo Joy Juice Mom and Dad brew in their backyard still to guzzle out of jelly jars on Saturday nights, which the kids drain dry once the ‘rents pass out.
Here’s a recommendation: never drink anything blue. That includes Windex, which I understand lots of people swear is good for such things as treating cuts, sore muscles, and impotence. I presume — I don’t actually know for sure — that the product is applied topically. Think about that in the context of curing impotence.
Back in the day, I hung out with some desperate souls who drank far worse than windshield wiper fluid. Sterno. Rubbing alcohol. WD-40. Listerine. Blatz Beer. Not all of these folks went on to become lawyers and PhDs: one is now an Air Traffic Controller, and another just retired from the post office, where she headed a personnel office. Figures, yes?
The good news is, none of the kids died. The better news is, we’ll probably never know if any of them sustained brain damage, unless they leave Arkansas, and there’s somebody to compare them to. By then, maybe the post office will be hiring again.