Me? I’m happily married, and that’s for the record. About 75 years now. The secret is, my fellow dicked Americans, wait until you’re sure. Or desperate. Also, marry for beauty, brains, talent, personality, and above all, a powerful, wet, snapping…..libido. Learn to lie with a straight face but always tell the truth. Never fart when you have sex, even if your eyes pop. And don’t kick her pets while she’s looking.
Well, it worked for me, anyway. But I’m (mostly) Hungarian. We have our ways. For the rest of you, perhaps this will be of interest and/or assistance:
Ashleymadison.com is a website where attached/married men and women go to find lovers on the side with other people in similar unhappy situations. After signing up, you can search through over three million users to find that perfect body for a night of unattached passion or a longer affair.
The website backs up its motto, “Life is short. Have an affair,” with articles about the fallacy of monogamy, polygamy and essays about affairs. They don’t downplay the truth of what the site is promoting, however: adultery. According to their statistics page, 17% of divorces are caused by infidelity, and 90% of Americans believe adultery is wrong. Despite those numbers, the website has over three million users and a long testimonial page of very satisfied customers. — Datingish.com
I like the slogan. “Life is short. Have an affair.” It appeals to our fragile sense of mortality, and provides a sweet, sentimental justification for the natural human urge to fuck over your loved one by betraying his or her trust. Vows? Commitments? Eternal (ha ha!) love? Blow it out your poopshoot! Life is short.
I don’t have a problem with adultery if the couple goes into the relationship with that issue sorted out between them. The real issue is honesty. Remember the 60s? But that’s not the way it usually works.
Even so, it’s not my business: do whatever you want. But if you want me to sit there quietly while you justify it, you’re gonna get an earful of scorn and derision. Which I’m good at.
That doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear the details. Or see the videos. Or smell your fingers. No, Just Kidding! About the fingers, anyway. Sort of.
Have a good time, folks. That’s what it’s all about. Indeed, life is short. If you can live with the dishonesty, playing it down as minor, rationalizing it as deserved, whatever, go for it. After all, it’s only sex. And maybe it’ll do the relationship itself some good, right?
Guido, reading this over my shoulder, says,” If you REALLY want to see how short life can be, go have that affair.” I love it when the Italian blood rises to the surface of her freckled redhead’s skin. And boy do I behave myself.