This sounds like the stuff of nightmares. Swallowed live by a pterodactyl a la Raquel Welch in A Million Years B.C.
Walk thru this interactive colon model and learn why colon cancer is preventable, treatable and beatable. City of Hope doctors and nurses will be on hand to help educate you. LA Daily News
Who could resist the opportunity to get up close and personal with pre-cancerous colon polyps? Or to pretend you’re a green legume, sweeping through the intestine in a cleaning and purging frenzy?
“Interesting decor, if you like red. And there sure is a lot of shit to climb over,” commented one visitor.
I wonder if you exit through a water slide and land in a gigantic porcelain toilet. How authentic can they make it?
“It was okay, I guess,” another visitor reported. “But afterwards, I felt like shit.”
Like any sensible American male, I procrastinated for years before submitting to the colonoscopy my physician advised. It wasn’t a whole lot of fun. The preparation, of course, when you spend hours shitting out everything from your asshole to your adenoids while simultaneously starving, is almost as bad as the stupid jokes you endure from the medical staff (“All of our patients are assholes. Hur hur hur!”). I was such a bad patient they more or less threw me out of the clinic afterwards, weak and woozy. When Guido came to pick me up, she found me wandering around the parking lot. I called them up a day later and bitched out everybody, including the doctor.
Yes, we should all have colon cancer screenings, but do we need a gross Mickey Mouse sideshow to make it compelling? If I were a kid, something like this would scare me away forever. What’s next, sex education?
Wow. WOW. Don’t go there.