Peels Real Draft

Three inventive mates in Sydney (Australia) say they will bring to New Zealand an Aussie beer-lover’s fantasy: a bottle of brew with a woman on the label whose bikini disappears as the contents are consumed. Hamish Rosser, 34, and his mates – actor Richie Harkham, 29, and artist Jarrod Taylor, 33 – have launched the Skinny Blonde label, a low-carb beer, The Times newspaper reported.

“We had this idea of the disappearing bikini and researched into disappearing ink,” said Mr Rosser who has a degree in chemical engineering. “Then we did a few trial runs and when we realised it worked we were stoked.

“If it weren’t for this beer project I don’t know what I’d be doing. At least I’ve finally found a use for my chemical engineering background.” —  stuff.com.az

Sorry, mates.  Great packaging idea, A+!  But not even the prospect of a naked skinny blonde could convince me to drain a bottle of low-carb beer.

2280914It’s too real, isn’t it, this art imitating life concept they brewed up.  A beautiful package, tempting as the devil dipped in chocolate, with some gawdawful mouthfuck for a prize.  Fool’s gold.  Lipstick on a pig.  Fooled by first impressions.  It’s the guy who wakes up with coyote ugly sleeping on his arm (and you know the rest).

Would it have killed them to bottle at least a real beer, even a bad one?  How do you say “Bud Lite” in Aussie?  I could handle that for a short while, certainly enough to admire the emerging rib ornaments as they slowly expose.  But not low-carb.  It tastes like low-salt spit with tincture of tooth decay.

The whole affair is depressing, exactly the opposite of what your time in a bar with beer and bare blondes is all about.  *Sigh*  A tragic squander of that chemical engineering background after all.

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4 Responses to Peels Real Draft

  1. Bud Nation says:

    Your disrespect and lack of taste is duly noted. Maybe you should be more concerned with how one says “fatwa” in Aussie.

  2. Miami Harold says:

    A beautiful package, tempting as the devil dipped in chocolate, with some gawdawful mouthfuck for a prize.

    It tastes like low-salt spit with tincture of tooth decay.

    Lovely prose.
    What does it say about yourself
    that you reserve your finest expressions
    to describe bad beer?

    “Emerging rib ornaments” isn’t bad, either.

  3. Ms Calabaza says:

    I agree Harold, great prose for lo-carb . . .

  4. Piles says:

    *yawn* There’s better beer, and better scenery than a beer bottle label. The only way they sell this crap is one bottle at a time.

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