Truck recovered, but $60,000 in stolen whiskey still missing
ATHENS, Tenn. (AP) – Sheriff’s deputies have recovered a truck stolen from a Nashville shipping company, but didn’t find the $60,000 worth of whiskey that was also missing.
The Daily Post-Athenian reported McMinn County Sheriff’s deputies found the tractor on Monday at a truck stop along Interstate 75 near Niota, but the trailer is still missing.
According to police reports, the trailer contained 1,064 cases of Jack Daniel’s whiskey, along with 1,028 cases of various other whiskeys valued at $67,000. NewsChannel3
Every time I try to calculate the actual number of bottles of Jack Daniels stolen, I fall over drunk. I suppose it’s 1,064 times 12. OMG. Hold me. That’s more square glass than in Buckminster Fuller’s wet dreams.
I mention this because as many of you know, I didn’t blog most of last week when this hijacking was committed, and I need to emphasize my innocence. I did not steal anything, let alone a tractor trailer filled with booze. I wasn’t even there, and if I was, I wasn’t the driver.
Not that I condemn the activity as anything less than worthwhile, even admirable. It beats shooting up a roomful of immigrants or killing cops in the name of the second amendment. When all is said and done, the thief has gained something worthwhile, even if on a very temporary basis. And for sure, he’s got new friends; and if some of them tend to slur their words and drool a little, at least they’re happy.
For the record, none of the other 1,028 cases of “various other whiskeys” are not of even remote interest, unless they’re tequila — GOOD tequila — which they’re not. I guess. I mean, how would I know?
Back in the real world, new Marlin Emilio Bonifacio goes 3-for-3; 3 runs, 2 stolen bases, 2 TBI, and an inside-the-park home run. It is the first inside the parker on Opening Day since Carl Yastrzemski did it in 1968 — 41 years ago. And he was a Red Sox, so that doesn’t count for shit. It’s all down hill from here.