Cinqo de Mayo Arrives Early

The authorities say a man claiming to be an illegal immigrant ran naked down a Port St. Lucie street so he would be sent back to Mexico. The police responded to a home Saturday night where they say Roberto Carlos, 28, was arguing with his boyfriend. Officers told Mr. Carlos, who appeared to be intoxicated, that he should go home for the evening, but Mr. Carlos told them he wanted to go to jail because he was an illegal immigrant and wanted to go back to Mexico. He then said he planned to punch an officer to get arrested but decided not to after the police told him it would not be in his best interest to do so. That was when he took off his clothes and ran down the street. He was charged with indecent exposure and was being held for immigration  officials. —  NY Times

“…not in his best interest” to punch the cop.  Well, he ran into some good fortune there.  It wasn’t in his best interest hebrew-743281to run down the street balls-ass naked either, but at least he didn’t beg to have the shit kicked out of him for his trouble.

Underlying this peculiar tale is the question of why an illegal immigrant has to resort to extraordinary means to be extradited back to his country of origin.   Couldn’t he just pop in (fully clothed) to the neighborhood Immigration Office and report himself?  Wouldn’t they agree to hold him, feed him lunch, and arange for the bus ride?

Or better yet — insofar as he’s Mexican — send him to Jersey?  That’s the Garden State.  (Ethnic slur of the day.)

Speaking of ethnic slurs, I’m off to help some friends celebrate Passover.  Even bought a few bottles of “HeBrew” beer to celebrate.  Schmaltz Brewery, it says here.  Happy Cinqo de Naked Mexicano Pesach, everyone.

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4 Responses to Cinqo de Mayo Arrives Early

  1. Bud Nation says:

    Did you write this before or after you drank that crap?

  2. Ray Ed Gneck says:

    Here in central Florida, any illegal who wants to return home only has to turn himself in and it’s done, no questions asked. We’ll toss him in the van with all the illegals who DON’T want to return home but are going anyway.

    Word.

  3. Joe Balls says:

    You’re pushing your luck, Squirthole. The market inched up yesterday even though you posted something, but I don’t trust it today. Sell.

  4. Paot says:

    Passover celebrates the exodus of the Jews from Egypt, ending their years of slavery. There’s nothing in the bible about them drinking beer, though. See how far we’ve come?

    At my family’s seder we stayed with traditional wine. Which, frankly, isn’t very good either.

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