Ouch! Did You Have to Say “Sharp” Increase?

The recession may be causing more people to decide that they don’t want to have children. Doctors around the country are reporting a sharp increase in the number of vasectomies performed since last year.

Researchers are concluding that the trend is due to a decreased desire to have children because of the expense involved and more people may be having medical procedures before their jobs and health insurance disappear.  — abclocal

Really?  I guess Octomom missed the memo.

This theme is heard whenever times get tough, or when pessimism gets fashionable.  Young folks start worrying about “bringing a child into this troubled world”  and looking at the financial implications of doing so.  Which is considerable: in today’s NY Times, it’s reported that “a baby born in 2006 – the latest year for which data are available – will cost middle-income parents $260,000 by the time the child reaches 17, according to the Agriculture Department. And that doesn’t include college.”

vasectomyA quarter mil is a big chunk of change, especially considering the meager results.  I’m thinking of the inevitable day the police deliver your larva home stoned and tattooed with a court date in the morning.   I’m thinking when the kid tells me it’s registered Republican and going to law school, or joined the Earth Liberation Front and heading for the Brazilian rain forest to sabotage the logging cartel.  Or finds Jesus.  Or converts to Islam.  Or becomes a soccer fan.

So this is good news.  Less kids.  And ultimately, less people.  Maybe the schools will get a little less crowded, as well as I-95.  And the beach will get quieter.  Ands a whole lot cleaner.  Not as many obnoxious moms and their political lickspittles running around telling us not to do anything we like because it might hurt *gasp* “the children!”

The other good news about more vasectomies is it means fewer abortions.  More guys firing blanks means fewer unwanted pregnancies.  This is good.  The only thing worse than wanted pregnancies is unwanted pregnancies.

I hate kids.   It’s not by accident that I don’t have any, and the world is better off.  I consider myself a role model.  These are good times indeed.

This entry was posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Ouch! Did You Have to Say “Sharp” Increase?

  1. Ms Calabaza says:

    “I’m thinking of the inevitable day the police deliver your larva home stoned and tattooed with a court date in the morning.” ~best line ever!

    Good news, indeed!

  2. Lois Terms says:

    “The only thing worse than wanted pregnancies is unwanted pregnancies.”

    That sentence should win you the Humanitarian of the Year award, hands down.

  3. Private Partz says:

    Interesting that at the same time people are buying more guns, more men are firing blanks.

  4. Barbara Ganousch says:

    After reading this charming little essay I agree with you that your decision not to have children of your own was the right one. On behalf of, well, everybody, please continue avoiding accidents.

  5. B. Pheeder says:

    Does Obama get blamed for this, too?

  6. Ms Calabaza says:

    No. He inherited it from Bush

  7. Borkon says:

    The less people in the next generation, the bigger the tax burden for each taxpayer. Think about that, gentlemen, when you’re voting in big spenders and snipping your cords.

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