Caveat Emptor

DETROIT — Chrysler, the third-largest American auto company, will seek bankruptcy protection and enter an alliance with the Italian automaker Fiat, the White House announced Thursday. —NY Times

That’s one!  BTW, Fiat stands for, ” Fix It Again, Tony.”

This entry was posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Caveat Emptor

  1. Ba-da-Boom says:

    “Fix It Again, Tony.” is pretty damn funny.

  2. anonymous says:

    Squathole,
    Mercedes Benz lost nearly 10 billion dollars over a perido of 6 years for the first time in 25 years of operation, when it bought and finnaly had to unload Chrysler for a pittance of what it paid for it. Daimler Benz’s CEO lost his job because of that stupid decision of Daimler Benz. Now one of the worst car companies in the world, FIAT, will buy the worst car company in the US. A marriage made in Heaven. The blind leading the blind down the abyss.

  3. Vito says:

    Only thing Italians know about the automobile industry is, Who drives the getaway car?

  4. Your Father's Oldsmobile says:

    Fiat is quite a different company these days, a real success story. Anonymous is right about Chrysler pulling down Daimler, but that wasn’t the right partner, and the basic product wasn’t addressed the way Fiat changed its offerings over the years.

    We just have to wait and see. Meanwhile, I’ll stay with my Japanese cars, thank you.

  5. Lois Terms says:

    I can see it already: the Jesus Chrysler. The Dodge-a-Bullet.

  6. AMC
    All Miscelanious Crap

    Buick
    Barfed Up Icky Carmel Corn

    Ford:
    Found On Road Dead
    Fix Or Repair Daily
    Fuckin Old Rebuilt Dodge
    First On Race Day (yeah right)

    Mopar
    Mostly Old Parts And Rust

    Olds:
    Old Ladies Dance School

    Pontiac
    Poor Old Nigger Thinks Its A Cadillac

    There used to be a song that I heard once at a car show with all kinds of these.

  7. I Found a few more….
    ACURA
    Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead
    Asia’s Curse Upon Rural America
    A Car Usually Rarely Appreciates

    AMC
    Always Made Crap
    Autos May Combust

    AUDI
    Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
    Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
    Always Under Diagnostic Inspection
    Always Upside-down, Double Interest
    Another Understated Dealer Incentive
    A Used Dodge Incognito

    BMW
    Bob Marley and the Wailers
    Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
    Beautiful Models Wanted
    Bavarian Manure Wagon
    Biggest Metal Waste
    Big Money Works
    Bring My Wallet
    Burn My Wallet
    Bought My Wife
    Brutal Money Waster
    Break My Window
    Bring More Women
    Bring More Wrenches
    Bavarian Money Waster
    Bring My Wad!
    Blew My Wad!
    Big Money Wasted
    Bring Money Where?
    Buy More Women
    But Mom, Why?
    Big Manufactured Waste

    BUICK
    Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
    Big Ugly Idiot’s Cat Killer

    CADILLAC
    Company Always Denies Its Lawful Liability After Collisions
    Company Asking Dealers If Local Lawyers Are Calling

    CAMARO
    Cash Always Miniscule After Retail Overpricing

    CHEVROLET
    Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
    Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
    Cheap Heap Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
    Cant Have Every Vehicle Race On Last Every Time
    Can hear every valve rattle, oil leaks every time
    Check Heads Every Valve Rattles Or Leaks Every Time
    Cracked Heads Every Valve Rattles Oil Leaks Every Time
    Cheap Heap Every Valve Rattling Oil Leaking Everywhere Truck

    CHEVY
    Can Hear Every Valve, Rod, or Lifter Every Time
    Can’t Have Everything Vern, YaknowwhatImean?
    Cheapest Heap Ever Visualized Yet
    Crap Hasn’t EVolved Yet

    CHRYSLER
    Everyone knows who Lee Iacocca is right? His name IACOCCA stands for:
    I Am Chairman Of Chrysler Corporation America

    Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair
    Company Has Rid Your Savings Legally: Electronic Robbery
    Chrysler Has Raped Your Sanity Loser – Expect Repercussions
    PT Loser
    PT Boozer

    DAEWOO
    Damn All Engines With Oriental Operations
    Damn Asian Engineering Works Only Occasionally

    DODGE
    Doing Overhauls Daily Gets Expensive
    Doesn’t only die, gets eaten
    Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater
    Design Of Diabolical German Engineer
    Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
    Damned Old Dudes Going Everywhere
    Damn Overhauls Do Get Expensive
    Dear Old Dad’s Garbage Engine
    Dodge Neon: Need Engine Overhauled Now
    Darned Old Dirty Greasy Engine
    Don’t Our Dealers Gouge Everyone

    FERRARI
    Ferociously Elegant Racer Ravages All Roads Intuitively

    FIAT
    Found In A Trashcan
    Fantastic In A Tightspot
    Finest Italian Automotive Technology
    Futile Italian Attempt at Transportation
    Failure In Italian Automotive Technology
    Fix It All the Time
    Fix it again, Tony!
    Fix It Another Time

    FIRESTONE
    Firestone Inexplicably Recalls Explosive SUV Tires On Non-stable Explorers

    FORD
    Firestone Overstates Reliability Data

    PINTO: Please, It’s Not Too Odious!
    PINTO: Pyrotechnics Inevitable; No Timer Onboard
    PINTO: Put In New Transmission Often
    Ford Pinto: Flaming Oven Roasted Driver-Passengers Incinerated Nine Times Over

    THUNDERBIRD: This Hoopty Usually Needs Daily Engine Repair But It Rolls Downhill
    MUSTANG – Motor Usually Starts Then Almost Never Goes
    Found on repairman’s doorstep
    Found on rack daily
    Ford Owners Recommend Dodge
    Full Of Rust Deposits
    Faithful, Obedient, Reliable, Dependable
    Fucking OLD RETARDED DRIVER
    Ford Focus….Ford Fuck Us
    Fucker Only Rolls Downhill
    Fancy Oil Recycling Device
    Found On Rubbish Dump
    Fucked Over Road Disaster!
    Fucking Oakey’s Really Dig’em
    Fucking Old Retarded Dudes
    Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Depreciation
    Fucking Old Rebuilt Dodge
    For Old Retired Drunks
    Here’s a good one: FORD backwards –> Driver Returns On Foot
    Here’s another good one: FORD backwards –> Driver Relies On Family
    First On Recall Day
    Fast On Race Day
    For Off Road Driving
    Fireball On Rear Damage
    First On Race Day
    First On Rust and Deterioration
    Fix Or Repair Daily
    Found On Road, Dead
    Frequently Overhauled, Rarely Driven
    Fault Of R & D
    MUSTANG – Mostly Unwanted Scrap Tin And Needless Garbage
    Fucked On Raw Deal
    Fast Only Rolling Downhill
    Found O.J. and Ron’s DNA
    Flip Over, Read Directions
    Fork Over Remaining Dough
    Fucking Owners Really Dumb
    Fucked On Race Day
    (F)illped (O)ver (R)esevation (D)ecoration
    (F)ucked (O)ver (R)ebuilt (D)iahatsu
    For Old Retired Dutchmen
    Found On Road Draggin
    Frickin Old Ragged Dumpster
    Fucked Over Rebuilt Dodge
    First On Repair Day
    FORD Owners Really Dumb
    From Our Reject Department
    LTD = Load of Trash from Detroit

    GEO
    Get Everything Overpriced
    Got Everything Overhauled

    GM
    General Maintenance
    General Mistakes
    Generally Malfunctions
    General Misery
    Great Mess
    General Malpractice
    Genital Motors
    Give More
    GiMme
    Getting Malignant
    Got Me
    Grab Me

    GMC
    God’s Mechanical Curse
    Getting Mostly Crap
    GM Made Crap
    Generally Makes Clouds
    Garage Man’s Companion
    Generic Motors Corporation
    Got A Mechanic Coming?
    Greatest Mistake Created
    Great Mountain of Crap
    Greasy Messy Contraption
    Gay Man’s Chevy
    Generically Made Chevrolet
    Gimme My Checkbook!
    Get More Cash!

    HONDA
    Had One, Never Did Again
    Horribly Overpriced, Needing Dad’s Assistance
    Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
    Honest, Officer, Nobody Drank Anything
    Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else
    Honda Options: No Deal Available!
    Hold On, No Dealer Add-ons!
    Honda Options Never Deal Affordably
    Hang On, No Dealer Acquisitions!

    HUMMER
    Hope U Made Me Extra Reliable
    Huge Ugly Mother, Mostly Eats Resources

    HYUNDAI
    Here’s Y U Never Drive An Import
    Hope You Understand: Nothing’s Drivable And Inexpensive
    Hardly Your Understanding New Dealer Allowance Incentive
    Hold Your Usual Nitpicks, Designs Are Improved
    Helps You Undergo New Debt After Inception
    Hang Your UNDerwear Anywhere Inside
    Hope You Understand, No Deals Available Inside

    Jeep
    Just Empty Every Pocket
    Just Expect Every Problem
    Just Eats Every Penny
    Just Everybody Else’s Parts
    Junk Everyone Eventually Piles
    Just Expect Extra Payments

    Jaguar
    Just A Guess U Are Rich
    Jumps Around Grinds Uncontrollably Always Rusting
    Jump Around Get Up And Run

    Kia
    Keep It Away!
    Kick It’s Ass
    Korean Imitation Accord
    Korea’s Imported Accident
    Killer’s Imported Asset
    Kiss It Away
    Killed In Action
    Keep Inside Asia
    Korea Invades America
    Korean Industrial Accident
    Killer Implosion Awaits
    Killed In Accident

    LAMBORGHINI
    Loser Always Maintains Big Old Rotten Gunk; Hardly Inflates Nobody’s Image
    Lucky A Man By Owning Really Gives His Image Nice Inflation

    LOTUS
    Loads Of Trouble Usually Serious

    Maserati
    Must Also Suggest Extra Rope And Towing Implements

    MAZDA
    Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
    Must Always Zoom Down Asphalt
    Most Are Zealously Duped Always

    MERCEDES
    My Expensive Race Car Emits Dense Exhaust Smoke – But Efficiency Near Zero
    Most Expensive Road Car Everyone Drives Except Steve
    Merger Engaged Reverse Chrysler Entering Decline Evident Soon

    MITSUBISHI
    Manufactured In Taiwan Sold Under British Influence Shipped Here Incomplete
    Management Incessantly Tolerates Socially Unacceptable Behavior, Ignoring Sexual Harassment Incidents
    May Involve Turbos, Suck Unless Boost Is Seriously High Inside
    Men In Tight Spots Uttering Bulls__t In Sexual Harassment Investigation

    MOPAR
    Match Old Parts As Required
    Most Often Parked At Roadside
    Move Over, Power Approaching Rapidly
    My Old Pig Ain’t Runnin’
    Move Over People Are Racing
    Mostly Old Parts And Rust
    Motor On Pavement After Race
    Moments Of Power Are Rare

    NISSAN
    Nobody Intelligent Sorrowfully Saying Ahhh Nutz
    Need I Say Something About Nothing
    Never In Season Simply A No-show

    OLDSMOBILE
    Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday
    Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick’s Irregular Leftover Equipment
    Oldmobile

    PONTIAC
    Poor Old Ninny Thinks It’s A Cadillac
    Piece Of Nasty Tacky Icky Ass Crap
    Plan On Numerous Trips In Another Car
    FIREBIRD: Fast Irresistible Real Electrifying Bird Inexpensive Racing Dare-Devil
    Pretty Overpriced Not That I Am Concerned

    PORSCHE
    Plenty Of Receipts. Sorry, Can’t Have Everything
    PLENTY OF REPAIRS SERVICE CAN’T HELP EVERYTHING
    Proof Only Rich Snobby Children Have Everything

    SAAB
    Some Ass Actually Boughtit!
    Styling Absent After Buyout
    Backwards >>>> Bad Asses Always Suffocate
    Sorry Auto Assembled Backwards
    Sad Attempt At Beauty
    Send Another Automobile Back
    Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
    Sorry Assed American Buyers
    Start Adding Additional Brakefluid
    Stop Asking About Brakes!
    Sorry As A Bum

    SALEEN
    Some Aristocrats Love Every Expensive Novelty

    SATURN
    Sorry Assed Transmission Under Repair Now
    Some Argue That Ubiquitous Repairs Needed
    Send Another Towtruck Ubiquitous Repairs Needed
    Same American Trash Under Revised Name

    SUBARU
    Stupid Urbanites Bumbling Around Rural Areas
    SUBARU backwards is: U R A BUS (You are a bus)
    Subaru: Souped Up Bad Ass Racing Unit
    Souped Up Blazingly Awesome Racing Unit

    TOYOTA
    Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
    Totalled Only Yesterday, Officer Towed Away
    This One You Oughta Tow Away
    To Operate Your Own Terrific Automobile
    Tolerances Over Yielding, Often Towed Away
    Toyota Overcharges You On Their Accessories

    VOLVO
    Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
    Very Overpriced Lame Vehicle Options

    VW
    Virtually Worthless
    Very Wonderful
    Very Weird
    Very Old Lowered Kinky Sedan With A Great Engine Noise
    Volks Who?

  8. Ms Calabaza says:

    . . . that has to be the loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooongest comment I’ve ever read in this site!

  9. Squathole says:

    What the hell is a Mopar and a Saleen?

  10. Mr Schwinnckle says:

    Mopar, and Dodge, Chrysler, or AMC product…

    Saleen, super fast mustang and also super high priced exotic car like Ferarri, also known as a Penis Car to some women since men who drive then usually dont have a big one but buy the car to make up for it. Ask Madem I about them.

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