Mother’s Little Helper

A vibrator powered by a hand crank (no pun intended) has gone on sale as the world’s first wind-up sex toy.

Makers say the ‘Earth Angel Vibrator’ is made from recycled materials and can give an hour of eco-gasmic power for 8 minutes of cranking.  Users wind a built-in handle to charge the £65 device and can select from 4 speeds of vibration or store the energy for another time.

One user said: “It feels good to be doing my bit for the environment and now my husband doesn’t keep asking what we need all the batteries for when we are at the supermarket.” — Newslite

cucumberGotta love this century.  Just in time for Earth Day, too.

I plan to investigate further, because after all these years, I’ve still just never figured out how or where to insert the batteries into cucumbers.   Poor Guido: other than using my own god-given equipment, I’ve never figured out the third-party alternative to inspire the ultimate Organic Orgasm.   And cucumbers tend to, well, you know.  Ever had a mushy deli pickle?  Ugh.

Yeah, faithful readers, you’re right.  The point (no pun intended) was to work in the title.

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7 Responses to Mother’s Little Helper

  1. Camiel Toe says:

    Lame graphic, considering the possibilities.

  2. Ray Ed Gneck says:

    Good point, Camiel. Maybe he should have posted something about a douche bag instead, and show a photo of Arlen Specter.

  3. Mark Skid says:

    How do you fit the batteries into your “god given equipment”?

    Wait. Never mind. Question withdrawn.

  4. Thank you for the plug Mr Squats.

    Here is the link to our website where you can order your own Earh Angel http://theearthangel.ie/

  5. Earth Angel says:

    Mr Squats, thank you for the press. Hope to sell lots of these to the Fetish Box! Oh, wait, the city of Dania Beach closed them down and ran them out of town. I will have to goto Fort Lauderdale and sell them to Hustler Hollywood since Naugel is no longer mayor, hopefully they will sell well there.

  6. Mr Schwinnckle says:

    Wont a Cucumber do basically the same thing?

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