Domino Theory

Best pizza in South Florida?  Fuhgedabowdit!  Let’s talk about best punch during a pizza delivery….

For Miami-Dade County prosecutor David Ranck, a Domino’s pizza accomplished what courtroom outbursts and a whistle-blower lawsuit against his own boss could not: It got him temporarily thrown off the job.

Ranck, 54, was suspended without pay Monday after he was accused of punching a tardy pizza delivery woman trying to deliver a pie to his Miami Beach condo…..He was charged with misdemeanor battery and signed papers promising to appear in court.

His lawyer, Allan Kaiser, declined to comment on the case. But he did say: “At this point, I’m wondering where his pizza is. He never got his pizza.”  — Miami Hurled

Whoa!  Best punch may belong to the prosecutor, but the best punch line is his lawyer’s.

Anybody who orders a Dominos pizza deserves as bad they get.  In fact, she did him a favor by showing up late:domino-pizza maybe by then he’d found something else to eat.  In fact, just delivering a Dominos pizza could be construed as a hostile act.  Anticipate a plea of self-defense.

The news article describes Learned Counsel’s recent years as “tumultuous,” noting a disciplinary action and several intramural lawsuits.  Appears like he has his share of enemies (other than pizza delivery drivers) eager to see his ouster.  It would be amusing if his demise involved garlic, black olives, and anchovies, a combination that usually produces nothing more serious than agida and flatulence.

But then, we’re talking about lawyers, no strangers to flatulence.  We’ll see how this plays out.

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5 Responses to Domino Theory

  1. Ms Calabaza says:

    Wow! He hit a woman delivering the pizza … he’s toast.

  2. Joe Balls says:

    This confirms that anal sex can result in pregnancy — where else would lawyers like this come from?

  3. Art Rox says:

    I LOVE Dominoes. But I hate pizza.

  4. FerfeLaBat says:

    He probably didn’t even order a Pizza. It was most likely a sex service gone bad – I mean good – or — something

  5. *Rim Shot* says:

    He “pie-piped her!”

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