Hopping Mad

Welcome to Pellet City.  Please watch your step.

Washington County’s [OR] “Bunny Lady” is back in the hutch after violating a court order not to own or control animals for five years. Miriam Sakewitz, 47, was arrested again Tuesday at a hotel after an employee reported finding rabbits hopping around in her room.

Problems for Sakewitz started in October 2006 when police found and confiscated nearly 250 rabbits in her home, including about 100 dead ones in freezers and refrigerators. Police said she broke into the facility where the survivors were being cared for…and stole most of them back. Authorities found her a few days later with eight live rabbits and two dead ones in her car. Another 130 were recovered at a nearby horse farm.

She was placed on five years probation, banned from owning or controlling animals and was told not to go within 100 yards of a rabbitYahoo News

Holy Wabbit Twax, Elmer.  You’d expect somebody with this many rabbit’s feet to have better luck, y’know?  Better than her sense of smell, anyway.

Trying to visualize a refrigerator stuffed with dead rabbits, I don’t like what I see.  Is there room for the milk and fresh veggies in there along with the decaying carcasses?  Cottontails among the melon balls?  Paws in the peanut butter?  A rabbit can grow pretty big, and even mid-sized thumpBugs-Bunny-rescueers, multiplied by 100, add up to a crowd. Especially in a refrigerator.

I like the two dead ones in the car, too.  This is after she breaks into the rescue facility and steals them all back.  That’s when the hammer came down.  Five year’s probation and a restraining order.  They must take bunny-napping pretty seriously in the Pacific Northwest.

(How’s that gonna work?  What happens if she’s sitting on a park bench feeding the pigeons — not hard to imagine — and a rabbit hops by her.  Has she violated her terms?  If this happens here, she might find herself under the Julia Tuttle bridge with other desperate Leporidae offenders.)

But evidently she avoided that dilemma, only to backslide.  Maybe:

Authorities checked her residence occasionally and found it rabbit-free…..[But] county probation officer Susan Ranger testified in August of 2007 that Sakewitz had a rabbit in her home in June, had canceled counseling sessions and refused to open the door for unannounced visits.  Ranger said she found no rabbits when she finally got inside but did find a half-empty 10-pound bag of carrots. Sakewitz was sentenced to three days in jail.

Illegal possession of a controlled substance!  “Alright Carrot-breath, you’re under arrest.  You have the right to remain silent — hey, quit twitching your nose!”

Furry funny furry funny.

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8 Responses to Hopping Mad

  1. Mr Schwinnckle says:

    Hey Squat’s, you ever think she was trying to open her own version of the Bunny Ranch?

    http://www.bunnyranch.com/index1.html

  2. Dennis Hof says:

    I am hopping mad because now I have compition!

  3. Camiel Toe says:

    Squatty you missed the boat on this one.

    The “rabbits” referred to are popular sex toys. Vibrators, dildos. Every sex shop carries them, as you probably know. Squeamish news services are reluctant to go into details (family values, conservative readers, etc).

    The woman in this case is a sex addict whose public masturbatory behavior got to be too much for the community. Hence the confiscation of her mind-boggling collection of dildos, which yes, she stored in a refrigerator when they went dead, thinking that would restore their batteries. (It doesn’t work, but she was obviously preoccupied.).

    Finally, after counseling, it appeared she straightened herself out. But there were still some reports, hence the visits to her house. No rabbits, but 10 pounds of carrots. I’ll give you two guesses what she was using them for, and it wasn’t fresh salads.

    Don’t feel bad. The real story’s been remarkably well covered up, but as you know, I’m rather plugged in (tee hee) to matters of this nature.

  4. Mark Skid says:

    Camiel Toe: That’s actually more believable than 300 living rabbits.

  5. 8 Bells says:

    What a sick-o. I’ve heard of cases like this with dogs and cats, and even snakes, but this is the first one with rabbits. I wonder if she named them all.

  6. Harvey the Pookah says:

    Maybe there’s something I can do?

  7. MadamI says:

    Iiiiii Haaavvveee aaaa Waaabbiiittt. Grreeaat Tttoooyyyyy!

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