Stadium Promotion Goes Sour

First thing I thought of was, “Wow!  First Walter Cronkite, now Greg Norman!”

After a short ride on Miami’s elevated Metromover train, a dead shark turned up in the middle of the street, in the middle of the city, in the middle of the night, police said.

Police were called about 9 p.m. Tuesday and found the 5-foot-long nurse shark lying on Fifth Avenue in Miami’s Overtown section. The mystery began Sunday when a Metromover passenger took a photo of the shark, bleeding and gasping, as it lay on the floor of the train. The passenger sent the photo to CNN affiliate WSVN-TV in Miami-Fort Lauderdale.

The shark turned up dead on the street, covered with flies, on Tuesday.

But then I realized, Greg Norman’s a wealthy, classy guy.  He wouldn’t be on a MetroMover in Overtown at night, let alone in the street, covered in flies.  Dead or alive.

Police and wildlife officials said two men, whom they described as vagrants, took the shark on the Metromover after failing to sell it at several fish markets.  David Gil, who works at the Casablanca Fish Market, said the men approached him.

“Two guys pulled up on a bicycle; they were both riding and were dragging the shark,” Gil told CNN. “They said it was like 16 feet and about 600 pounds, but when I went out to take a look at it, it was tiny. I’d say it was about 5 feet and about 75 pounds…..and they were telling me they were trying to sell it for 10 bucks.”

The men were turned away because they did not have a permit to sell the shark, said Martha Longueira, who handles purchasing for the Casablanca market.

You need a permit to sell a shark?  A shark permit?  Do you need anything special to sell it from a bicycle?  How did it get from the bike to the train, then from the train to the street?  Was it thrown off for not having exact change?

white-shark-faceStrangest animal I’ve seen on the streets of south Florida — excluding Jose Canseco — is a monkey.  I damn near drove off the road.  This was in Dania, by the airport, before I’d heard about the colony that’s resided off Dania Beach Blvd since a sideshow was abandoned years ago.  But a shark?  That tops a monkey.

Sure, we’ve always had loan sharks.  And with all the gambling establishments now, there are whole schools of card sharks prowling around.  Then there’s Land Shark.  These don’t count.  They don’t have gills.

Authorities said they returned the shark’s remains to the ocean.  The two fishermen — you know they’re for real; look how they lied about the size of their catch — are presumably out there panhandling for money to buy a permit.  Probably run ‘em about a fin each.  Sorry.


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7 Responses to Stadium Promotion Goes Sour

  1. Ray Ed Gneck says:

    I’m surprised that in Miami, with all your psychopaths and druggies anybody even noticed a dead shark. Most people who saw it probably figured it was their own DTs, or a street performer in costume, or maybe another homeless person. What a zoo.

  2. Kim Chee says:

    Terrible waste of tasty ingredients. I refer to the shark, not the flies. I’m Korean, not Mexican.

    I’m also just kidding.

  3. Claud Eustace Teal says:

    Where did you obtain that photo of my first wife?

  4. Hose B says:

    I owe you one, Kim Chee.

    Ray Ed: If that shark had a shotgun and a bible, nobody upstate would have noticed it either, right? That about right in your part of the world?

  5. Mister E says:

    Strangest creatures I ever see on the streets in south Florida are those black-bearded Orthodox Jews, black hat, black pants, black shoes and socks, black ties knotted to the neck under heavy black jacket, walking around in blazing hot sun like it’s perfectly normal. Compared to that, a dead shark covered in flies in the middle of a busy street isn’t worth a glance.

  6. ABA says:

    Miami is full of sharks. We recruit them.

  7. Pingback: 10 animals that just ate a warhead | Petsami

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