Look, it’s Friday and usually I don’t post a lot on Friday because nobody reads it anyway. Except for the literally 1,382 people this week (so far) who hit on this post from April, 2008. Which I simply can’t understand. Is it the horrific photo? The cruel comments? Would somebody please explain?
So here’s two jokes that came my way and made me laugh. Hope they work on you as well.
Two rednecks out hunting come upon a huge hole in the ground. They approach it and are amazed by the size of it.
The first hunter says “Wow, that’s some hole, I can’t even see the bottom. I wonder how deep it is?”
The second hunter says, “I don’t know, so let’s throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom.”
The first hunter says “There’s this old transmission here. Give me a hand and we’ll throw it in and see.”
So they pick it up and carry it over, and count one, and two, and three, and throw it in the hole. They stand there listening, looking over the edge, when they hear a rustling in the brush behind them. As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the brush, run up to the hole, and with no hesitation, jump in head first.
While they are standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole, and trying to figure out what the hell that was all about, an old farmer walks up. “Didn’t happen to see my goat round here, did ya?”
The first hunter says “We sure ‘nuff did. We was justa standin here a minute ago and yer goat come running out of them bushes over yonder doin’ bout a 100 miles an hour and he jumped headfirst into this here hole!”
The old farmer says, “Huh? That ain’t possible. I had him chained to a transmission!”
A nun badly in need of a restroom walks into the local Hooters Restaurant. The place is hopping with music and loud conversation. Every once in a while the lights turn off, and when they do, the place erupts into cheers. However, when the revelers spot the nun, the room goes dead silent.
She walks up to the bartender and politely asks to use the restroom.
The bartender replies, “OK, but I warn you: there’s a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.”
The nun smiles. “Well, in that case, I”ll just look the other way,” she says, patiently.
So the bartender shows the nun to the back of the restaurant.
A few moments pass and she comes out. The whole place stands and gives her a loud round of applause. Baffled, she approaches the bartender, says, “Sir, I don”t understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?”
”Well, now they know you’re one of us,” laughs the bartender. “Would you like a drink?”
”No thank you, but, I still don”t understand,” says the puzzled nun.
“Well,” says the bartender, “every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out. Now, how about that drink?”
Hmm. A drink. Sounds good to me.