For many reasons, this is a very bad week for blogging. My schedule, for one thing, has me working some odd hours — like, all of them between 1 and 23.
And then there’s this total breakdown of the plumbing in the house that has left us without water pressure, hot water, or working toilets. Ever use a litter pan? It requires practice, good aim, and a lot of cleaning fluids afterwards (without hot water!).
We’re about halfway through the repairs ($2,300) and the kids’ college fund. In 10 years we’ll explain that they’re working in the foundry instead of going to college because in 2009 we had to fix our toilets. Of course, they’ll understand.
Later this semester we’ll discuss the dachshund-sized roaches that climb up the pipes under a disconnected toilet, and why cats find this deliriously amusing.
So bear with me while I recite an old joke:
The boss has to fire somebody, and he narrows it down to one of two people: Mary or Jack. It’s an impossible decision because they are both decent workers.
Rather than flip a coin, he decides he will fire the first one who uses the water cooler the next morning.
Mary wobbles in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night. She heads for the cooler to take an aspirin. Shoulders slumping, the boss approaches her and says, “Mary, I’ve never done this before, but I either have to lay you or Jack off.”
“Could you just jack off?” she asks, plaintively. “I feel like crap this morning.”