Em Eye See…….

[C]oncerned that Mickey has become more of a corporate symbol than a beloved character for recent generations of young people, Disney is taking the risky step of re-imagining him for the future.

The first glimmer of this will be the introduction next year of a new video game, Epic Mickey, in which the formerly squeaky clean character can be cantankerous and cunning, as well as heroic, as he traverses a forbidding wasteland. — NYTimes

This might be Disney’s most radical image revision since Annette Funicello grew tits.

Evil-Mickey-Mouse-16042I can tell already this is the wrong direction, but it might be worse.  Imagine the lobotmized creative geniuses in the Disney Corporation, fearful for their jobs, the financial health of the corporation, and of course their own medical health insurance.  The eye up the nation’s cultural trends and remake Steamboat Willie into Joe the Plumber, a movement conservative.  Glen Beck with round ears.  Sean Hammity plus one octave.

“Socialized health care,” squeaks the New Mickey, angrily.  “Who needs it?  What kind of Mickey Mouse system are we talking about, anyway? ”

The perfect spokesmouse.  Macho Mickey toting a handgun, patrolling the San Diego border on the hunt for Joe Carioca-style Mexican illegals.  Christian Mickey condemning abortion, pointing out that his pal Donald Duck’s illegitimate nephews Huey Dewey and Louie wouldn’t be here in a pro-choice society.  Scrooge McDuck as the Ayn Rand ideal, a capitalistic success embodying the virtues of selfishness and ethical egoism.

And remember — Mickey is Black!  A dusky rodent as a post-racial wingnut!

The Polyester Booboisie would embrace their revitalized icon anew.  Tea party animals in mouse ears, screaming epithets against un-American socialists who condemn our freedom and way of life.  Mickey Mouse as country music hero.  Is this perfect?

The best news is, if it catches on, Florida is sure to be Ground Zero.

This entry was posted in Gen. Snark, Maj. Snafu, Corp. Punishment. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Em Eye See…….

  1. Barbara Ganousch says:

    You’re on to something here, not thyat it would ever happen. I can hear all those crackpot teaparty slogans in Mickey’s voice, and it breaks me up.

  2. Cubby & Karen says:

    “….since Annette Funicello grew tits.”

    You should have seen that from OUR perspective.

  3. Camiel Toe says:

    If they’re serious about a Mickey makeover, they better do something about Minnie. For starters, she needs what Annette grew on her own. And a new wardrobe.

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