Red Army

Aaaah.  Social networking.

Authorities say there were at least five attacks on red-haired students at a Southern California middle school after a Facebook group announced “Kick a Ginger Day.”

Investigators say the Facebook message may have been inspired by a “South Park” TV episode that satirized racial prejudice by portraying a campaign against red-haired, fair-skinned “ginger” people.

Investigators have not made any arrests and don’t consider the attacks to be hate crimes.   –Miami Hurled

I have this thing about redheads.  It’s probably a sickness, and it seems to run in my family among the males.  They leave me cringing with desire, stupid with lust.   I wasn’t even aware of it until my 20s, when it struck with terminal force, and I married one.  So this sordid little episode resonates deeply.

Gentlemen may prefer blondes, but I’m no gentleman.

All I’ll say here about redheads is, they really are different.  They not only look different, they’re constructed differently.  They even smell and taste different.  Wonderfully different.  Blindfold me and lead me into a room, and I’ll pick out the redheads.  I can even taste freckles.

So — Why isn’t this a hate crime?  These individuals were selected for abuse precisely because of their hair and skin color.   The attacks were motivated by hatred of these beautiful people’s surface characteristics; they were targeted for who they are and what they look like.  Isn’t that the definition of a hate crime?

Redheads are in this year, by the way.  You’ll find them in print ads, on billboards, and in teevee commercials.  Not all are born redheads – we aficionados can spot the difference, and the one sure test is NSFW – but even the fact that Hollywood and Madison Avenue are using artificial means to mimic the look tells you about the fashion and the marketing power.  Great!  I’m ahead of this trend, and I’m already sold.

The last thing the world wants is a militant redhead movement, even though the vision of battalions of redheads, male and female, angry and arrayed in battle gear, presents an enormous erotic influence on some of us.  Hell.  I’ll sign on as an Auxiliary. They’ll make war.  I’ll make love.

Red is the new pink.

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